Aslan's How

everything changes

2010-06-06T02:22:00.000-06:00

If you've somehow stumbled across this blog, this is pretty much my former life, my highschool life. If you've done some reading on here, you may have noticed I love Lois Walfrid Johnson's Viking Quest series. In those books, the main character went on a long journey and came back a different person. Yes, she was still herself... but those who knew her noticed a difference right away.

Like her, I have vastly changed in the last few years. I have gained so much more than I ever thought I would, only to lose much of it. I could say more, but it is difficult to put the joy and suffering of almost three years into mere words. If you want to get to know me better, visit my active blog, landofexpectations.blogspot.com. There, I post my art and attempt to bring beauty into the lives of others.

Live long and prosper. And may we grow in understanding of the grace of God, and the meaning of "solo Dei gloria."

philippians 3:12-16

2007-09-24T16:14:00.000-06:00

doesn't it amaze you how patient God is with us? this passage made that quite clear to me, especially the last two verses...anyway I thought I'd share it.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."

in the glistening

2007-07-21T13:50:00.000-06:00

My summer's been going pretty well. I've been getting good grades in my math class, trying new art styles, and relaxing which is wonderful. And watching lots of Horatio Hornblower and Star Trek Voyager. I found a real jewel in the Voyager character Chakotay. I've added him to my list of "people whose example my future husband must live up too." Whoever the dude is, I feel sorry for him already. :D Just kidding... Anyway Chakotay really is a great character, and I delight in finding great characters. It's how I felt when I discovered Hornblower, and Superman (the Superman of Superman Returns). Looking at my Voyager wallpapers, I realize that over ten of them feature or include Chakotay. I think I'll show y'all a few highlights.

credit here.

*squee* I just love making wallpapers!!! 'Tis hard to control my enthusiam. :D I wanted this post to be longer, but I've got to go, so I'll try to post again before too long. Comments are splendid, and I'll try to visit your blogs soon too! I hate that I've practically never visited them in recent times. Go with God!

life is good, eternal life is better

2007-06-15T09:00:00.000-06:00

That song gets really annoying actually...not that I don't love Stellar Kart. :D

So I've been doing a lot of different stuff lately. I'm taking an online math class, which isn't too bad. We just finished learning about voting, and I passed my first test. I'm also making art as usual and posting it on NarniaWeb, which is where a lot of my artist friends hang out. Then I update my art blog fairly recently. (If you want, check out THIS page for Narnia stuff I've posted on there. And Aslan, look at THIS Hornblower stuff. I kinda went on a Hornblower craze.) And then I'm attempting to keep up with my lovely college friends on Facebook. So it's a lot of stuff going on. (And I haven't written anything creative in AGES which is just sad. Perhaps my next post should be something creative *shrug*) Overall I'm feeling rather quiet right now, so I'll just post some verses and then begone. Do email/comment and catch up with me, if you haven't lately...

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:1-16

of the lost and open sky

2007-05-16T18:48:00.000-06:00

On this half lit day
With your crown beneath your wings
Ev'ry word just echoes
And the empty world sings

Where have you gone, my feather light heart?
I never imagined I could leave.

In the glistening
Of the lost and open sky
Tiny piece of you sits
Simple wish waits for reply

Where have you gone my feather light heart?
I never imagined I could leave.

~Where, by Lisbeth Scott and Harry Gregson-Williams

I miss my friends. I miss tiptoeing around sensitive topics while chatting with D. I miss L's hugs. I miss B cause I love her to bits. I miss the "your mom" jokes that bounced between V and E.

Then there's my family. I didn't know it was SO much more fun to watch Phil of the Future with Mom instead of alone. My little bro is growing up bit by bit. My sister is graduating. My cat is losing weight so we're all pampering her with tuna and tasty cat treats. Life goes on. But I wish it wouldn't. Change hurts.

So you can pray for me about that, if you think of it. Also that God would hold me TIGHT.

And check out my latest project.

P.S. A good quote from Star Trek TNG:
"If there's nothing wrong with me, there must be something wrong with the universe."

what I've learned my first year at college

2007-05-03T07:28:00.000-06:00

Silly putty is a priceless gift. An amazing study-buddy.

I officially do not like Picasso. And that's that.

Feelings do not equal truth.

Classes in which the teacher doesn't do grade adjustment=YUCK.

Mercy and grace...are wondrous. From God and from teachers.

Feelings do not equal truth. It can't be said too often.

Elections matter, but incumbents win. To quote my Politics teacher. That statement just tickles my funny bone. So which part is true?

In Christ alone my hope is found. And I love that song, which I'd never heard before coming to college.

"Horatio Hornblower rocks." It sounds even cooler when you say it with a Welsh accent like Ioan Gruffudd.

Feelings do not equal truth. (I can't count the times I had to remember that this year.)

God is faithful. Always. And even when life stinks, there is no wickedness in Him.

this is to let you know I'm still alive

2007-04-21T08:26:00.000-06:00

but currently quite busy with final projects, keeping up with class reading, etc. Hard to believe the end of the year will arrive so soon...I'm going home in less then two weeks!! Home for the summer...seems like some kind of happy dream you expect to wake up from any second. But before then I have work to do...there will still be two more chapters to read for Earth Science and three more online quizzes, one due tonight and two due next week. And then I'm not sure how much Politics reading we're going to have... I have finals for both Earth Science and Politics, but they're not cumulative so that's happy. As for Speech, me and four of my classmates will be doing a symposium-forum on Wednesday. That's when we each make a mini-speech but all on the same overall topic so it combines into one big presentation. And at the end we take audience questions. I practiced my individual part for the first time yesterday and it was just the right length, between 4 and 6 minutes, so that's good. Annnd then there's also my Illustrator final project, due a week from Monday. I've already spent maybe 5 or 6 hours on that so it's already well underway. For that project, I'm designing a snowboard, a surfboard, and a skateboard, all with the same theme. And I'm designing a company logo to go with them.

Anywho...the summer will hopefully be less busy...meaning time for blogging! I'll be taking an online math course, and probably doing a few other things too...but no more crammed schedules thank goodness.

~from Horatio Hornblower, the TV miniseries. Pretty cool, I like it.

2007-03-24T09:48:00.000-06:00

"My, my, my, my, my, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the land of Expectations, to the land of Expectations, to the land of Expectations. We don't get many travelers these days; we certainly don't get many travelers these days. Now what can I do for you? I'm the Whether Man."
~The Whether Man, The Phantom Tollbooth

Well how are you all doing? I'm doing quite well myself. I've been struggling with a lot of spiritual questions lately as a result of some challenging chapel messages and stuff...but God has given me peace lately, these past two days specifically. It's amazing to remember what GRACE really means, so amazing.

Which reminds me...the movie Amazing Grace is out, as far as I know it's still in theaters, and boy is it one awesome movie!! So don't miss it, at least see it when it comes out on DVD if you don't wanna see it in theaters. SO amazing. It's about William Wilberforce, the man who fought for the slave trade to be abolished in England. The actor who plays Wilberforce is SO GOOD and there are so many other interesting characters to round out the plot. And the script is just wonderful, it was such a pleasure to hear such a good script after all the ones that flop nowadays. I loved the way the movie had everything--I mean, it had a lot of politics, for obvious reasons, but it also had relationships, romance, humor, suffering, and just well-done depictions of humanity and human nature.

So here's some walls I've made lately!!

They are from 1. Amazing Grace, although that particular shot is just in the trailer not the movie--and the quote is from the Bible obviously; 2. Narnia, and yeah I know it's a crazy one :D; 3. Narnia, with a quote by Gilbert and Sullivan; 4. Viking Quest--I scanned this image off the cover of book four, Heart of Courage; 5. Viking Quest, from book one, Raiders from the Sea; 6. Viking Quest, from book three, The Invisible Friend, with a quote from the Bible.

So I don't know what the weather is like for y'all but here it is very springy. Warm and rainy, so the grass glows greenly and the birds sing joyously. And the geese honk and the lake reflects the sky, taking on a pearly tint at times. And the air smells of damp earth and growing things.

New email alert! I'm getting so much junkmail on my MyWay account that I am now using gmail. My gmail account is narnianbadger@gmail.com.

I love THIS song by Steven Curtis Chapman--the first song that is, All Things New. Pretty much completely fits how I'm feeling right now.

Love to all!

credit here.

dinnertime

2007-03-01T18:33:00.000-07:00

First there's B. She's pretty, long hair, long skirt, slender. An artist, like me. Gentle and flexible and easy to get along with, but she does get worked up about things she really cares about--which is a good things, pretty much every artist should. She loves fantasy, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, soundtracks in general, and Kim Possible. She works hard and loves hard, and likes to dance when she's happy. She's patient and ready to listen whenever something's wrong.

Then there's E. He and B have been friends for quite awhile, longer than I've known them. He's about as different as B as black is from white. He's obsessed with sci-fi, Star Wars in particular, and loves bounty hunters. He is one himself. He enjoys movies with good fighting sequences, and is interested in art and theater. He gets mad easily but loves his friends as hard as B, in his own way. If something's wrong, he'll drop everything to help out, even giving up a night of sleep.

V starting hanging out with the three of us last semester. She's pretty too and smiles a lot and helps me annoy E, taking my side in our teasing battles. She wears a pink coat. (E hates pink. :D) She is flexible like B, although generally more opinionated. Always sympathetic when someone is stressed, she also serves as a voice of reason when at times us artists let our emotions run away with us.

L doesn't usually sit with us, but sometimes she does, and she did tonight. She's also in my prayer group. She likes to tickle people. INCLUDING ME. (Grrr...) She also likes weapons, calling them "sharp shinies." She listens to really weird music. She made an amazing huge billowy purple scarf which she wears most of the time, sometimes along with a Russian-looking hat. She gives great hugs. It's so much fun to laugh with her. Her talent for abstract art never ceases to amaze and delight me.

And then there's me...really really nutty sometimes...worrying and fretting about my homework over dinner...annoying E constantly (he's a realist, I'm an idealist, which makes life very interesting at times)...arguing that B's mashed potatoes were predestined to be hair cream (yes, we have some VERY unique discussions, but I'm usually not the one who starts them; E started that one)...being happy.

I go home tomorrow...which explains the happiness you see. Although I have an Earth Science exam at 11:00 tomorrow morning...which I'm not really worried about. So I'm not sure I'll do well, cause I SHOULD be worried. But there you have it.

And where is God in all this? Yes, sometimes I leave Him out. I need to work on that...but I've been remembering a little better, trying a little harder. Sometimes I get scared and shut Him out. But I do, I do, I do believe, like Steven Curtis Chapman says. He has saved me...His grace covers it all. Now let me live for Him. In speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.

la la LAAA!!!

2007-02-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

introducing...

CASPIAN!
(and one, two, three more pics of him)
TRUMPKIN!
(and a face shot!)
DR. CORNELIUS!
NIKABRIK!
and Glozelle and Queen Pruniprismia!

They also picked a few other people, including a guy to voice Trufflehunter (*squeal*) but I don't know what he sounds like, so, no comment. See the cast listing here. And and and, they've started shooting!! Tis all so exciting...I feel like I'm reliving those months before LWW came out...

Must go get ready to go to dinner...have a loverly weekend. :)

"of your galaxy dancing and laughing...

2007-02-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

...and laughing again."

1. Sisko from Star Trek Deep Space Nine (he's pretty much my favorite Star Trek character); 2. random pretty wall, using a picture from The Lake House (the one with the cursive text) and a photo by yours truly; 3. & 4. both from Love's Enduring Promise, a nice mushy movie; 5. & 6. both from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; 7. from I Am David, with lyrics from an old Latin hymn, partially translated; 8. from Newsies, depicting my favorite scene.
(credit here, and check out my sidebar for tons more walls :) )

So that's what I've been up to lately, aside from homework, but who wants to talk about that. And listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's Speechless over and over and over and over...in fact I'm listening to it right now, heehee. I do love that CD. Even more than I love the Newsies soundtrack, which is amazing indeed. "Look at me, I'm the king of New York! Da da da, daaa da da da..." so much fun to goof around to. And I finally saw A Walk to Remember...thus the quote from Mandy Moore's Only Hope up above. It is quite snowy here, and stunningly gorgeous on sunny days like today. Funny how such beauty has the power to gently, unobtrusively enter my heart and calm me subtly. The sunsets are so much lovelier, too. And...Chuck's (the cafeteria) had cotton candy ice cream. Yum yum yum yum!!!!! And I tidied my room and washed my dishes and vacuumed and researched the battle over how the origins of life should be taught in public schools and revised my Politics class paper and read about nonverbal communication and also about plate tectonics and reviewed Friday's class powerpoint about deserts. Busy day, eh? And besides that had time to make a cup of hot chocolate, sort my colored pencils, and color in a coloring book.

Well I believe I shall go now, as I need to email Mom. And maybe squeeze in an episode of Star Trek later. :) Talk to you all later--and Lysh do give me your email my dear, or email to me at katelibbybree@myway.com, so I can email you and we can catch up a little. :) Ta ta!

my head is full of rocks

2007-01-31T10:54:00.000-07:00

(because of studying for my Earth Science test in which class we are currently focusing on geology.)

I really want to blog, I know I should, but I'm so horribly busy right now. In fact I should be working on a speech outline right now...and I have Speech class in an hour...and lab immediately after...and an Earth Science test on Friday...and my speech is Monday...and there's a Politics and American Culture test Tuesday...and I have a piece of artwork due Tuesday...so yep I'm busy!!! Love you all, and sorry I have so little time for blogs right now!! xoxo!

meaning

2007-01-14T18:56:00.000-07:00

The rain got heavier in the evening. I walked back alone with only the sound of the rain on my umbrella to keep me company. Where a streetlight shone on the drenched sidewalk, a shimmering path of golden light stretched out before me as I peered out under the edge of my umbrella. My shoes squeaked on the wetness. I turned away from the golden path to step onto the crosswalk. The raindrops reflected light, turning the sky a soft dark pinky-gray. The lake's surface looked odd from all the raindrops hitting it. I dodged drowning worms and squished slugs on the walkways. I was mad inside; I felt things I rarely feel, and I wasn't liking it very much. Other lights just made puddles of gold instead of pathways, I noticed. I wouldn't be seeing the stars tonight. On other nights they jumped out at me from the heavens, sharp and clear, almost singing, like in The Magician's Nephew. Meaningless, meaningless, said the Teacher, utterly meaningless. He had preached on Ecclesiates 1 that morning. Must everything be so? Worse, I felt meaningless. In the image of God He created him...I'd had to read Genesis 1-11 for Earth Science class Monday morning. Was I forgetting the words so soon? Disagreeing with friends...how can people be so clueless sometimes? Or so sweet and caring, when I never knew they were? How can I be so emotional sometimes, my feelings bouncing around like a ping-pong ball? A little river of rainwater lined one side of the parking lot, so I stepped over it. The side of the road where I waited to cross was a puddle. As if caution would keep my shoes from getting soaked. My socks were wet when I finally sat down in front of my computer in my room. I went to post some pretty things on NarniaWeb, and it made me feel good inside, looking at them. So why don't I thank God more?

I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here
So I put up a fight
And told You how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing I don't know
Is part of getting through
I try to do what’s best
And faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my trust in You

For You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

I saw one cloud and thought it was the sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who taught that bird to fly
If I let You reach me
Will You teach me?

For You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
I'll take what answers You supply
For You know better than I

If there's anything I need to hold onto, that's it.

By the way, that was from the Dreamworks movie Joseph King of Dreams, sung by Joseph when he's in prison.

it's a bird, it's a plane, it's...

2007-01-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

Yep, I just saw Superman Returns, before Christmas actually, and loved it. Loved it with a capital L. The symbolism...wow. Such obvious Christian symbolism, I could not believe it. Makes me wonder how it sneaked past the overly-zealous-political-correctness people who would shoot it down. Yeah, it did have some stuff I didn't like, it wasn't by any means perfect, but the beauty in it...was overwhelming.

I realized, this break, that I haven't been trusting God.

I could say more, but that sums it up pretty well. It's the most wonderful feeling to come back to Him, know what I mean? To trust again.

And I am speechless
I'm astonished and amazed
I am silenced by Your wondrous grace
You have saved me
You have raised me from the grave
And I am speechless
In Your presence now
I'm astounded as I consider how
You have shown us the love that leaves us speechless

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know He is our Father
Come rest your head upon His breast
Listen to the rhythm of
His unfailing heart of love
Beating for His little ones
Calling each of us to come
Be still

~from Speechless and Be Still and Know, by SCC

Credit here.

comfort and joy

2006-12-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

So I took a needle and thread and strung the stars on a string, and hung the string in my bedroom, casting everything in silver and warming my heart.
Actually, that's not true. Instead, the Creator of the stars came to live inside me.

a child is born tonight in Bethlehem
His mother holds him close and sings a sweet lullaby
all the world is sleeping, unaware that God himself
has come in the night
the shepherds tremble as the angels sing
and in their song the voice of God speaks peace to the world
a miracle has happened, God has come and God has spoken
but the miracle has only just begun

and the God who spoke is speaking still
and the God who came still comes
and the miracle that happened
still happens in the heart that will believe, and receive
the miracle of Christmas

so come to Bethlehem again and see
the One who's come to rescue us, our Savior and King
bring your past, the joy, the sorrow, all you hope to find tomorrow
and hear the words again, fear not
and know that God is near

for the God who spoke is speaking still
and the God who came still comes
and the miracle that happened
still happens in the heart that will believe, and receive
the miracle of Christmas

and the God who spoke is speaking still
and the God who came still comes
and the miracle that happened
still happens in the heart that will believe, and receive
the miracle of Christmas
believe the miracle of Christmas
will you believe?

God rest ye merry gentlemen
let nothing you dismay
remember Christ our Savior
was born on Christmas day
to save us all from Satan's power
when we had gone astray
oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy
oh, tidings of comfort and joy

now to the Lord sing praises
all within this place
and bring your hearts before Him
His mercy to embrace
for He has shown His love to us
the miracle of grace!
oh, tidings of comfort and joy
oh, tidings of comfort and joy...

The Miracle of Christmas, by Steven Curtis Chapman, and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, as sung by SCC

French vanilla

2006-12-10T10:51:00.000-07:00

A few more days, and then Christmas break starts. Tomorrow I have a unit test, and Tuesday a portfolio and some drawings are due. And then I'm done. We sing Christmas carols at church and in chapel, and how I wish we could sing--or someone would sing--The Miracle of Christmas by Steven Curtis Chapman, because since Mom got his Christmas CD on sale and gave it to me, I've fallen in love with that beautiful song.

Another song I've fallen in love with. (the first one) Love it so much I made these:

(Yeah, the second one's a bit pinkish for a wallpaper of a guy. I may redo it sometime. But for now I thought I'd post it.)

Yay for finals week. :D I'm blessed to have none this semester, but some of my friends are in Bio and it's not fun. I almost feel guilty for having so little work right now...

French vanilla, one of my all-time ice cream flavors. I remembered being a little girl, sitting in King's Family Restaurant, and asking the waitress to serve the ice cream in a tall silver cup instead of a little ceramic bowl. My sisters asked the same thing. The waitress would put two vanilla wafers into each serving of ice cream, so they stuck up like Mickey Mouse ears, and each of us girls would take one, scoop a little ice cream on it, and give it to Dad. And I would stir the ice cream diligently until it was creamy and smooth, and only then would I eat it. So I sat in Chuck's and stirred up my French vanilla ice cream, remembering that little girl. I sat alone, letting the creaminess slide down my throat, gazing out the window at the iced-over lake, feeling the coldness within and without. Someone had put a fake potted tree on the ice, and it looked strange, just sitting there, its synthetic leaves blowing in the wind.

credit here.

2006-11-29T16:11:00.000-07:00

...but freed by Jesus.

So, I shouldn't be posting, I have Drawing and Photoshop homework to do, but here am I posting anyway. Listening to the first song here...man I love it. Things have gotten better...when I last blogged I was trying to write this horrid research paper and was completely stuck and absolutely terrified of the thing. But now it's all written and I got a B+ on it, so it's all good. :) Thanks a ton for all the encouragement. I also had an amazing Thanksgiving break.

"...so sink or swim, I'm diving in..."

I was stunned by the beauty of this wallpaper and this site. SO pretty. Those people's skill amazes me. Hopefully soon I'll have my own website to show y'all...a REAL one, not like that simple little one I did before. Well, it will be simple, but hopefully FAR more aesthetically pleasing. Yep. If you think of it, pray I'd get better, my tummy's having problems. Very annoying. Anyway, got to go work. Bye!

avatar by atreyuthewarrio on LJ

2006-11-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

Please pray for me, I'm having a very hard time.

2006-11-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

BIG NEWS!!

according to NarniaWeb, we've only 423 days to go.
(as of Nov. 3rd, since it's past eleven at night)

I like

2006-10-17T11:34:00.000-06:00

snickerdoodles
dreary evenings by the lake
the word tomorrow
letters
joy in the morning
old hymns (this guy led worship today at chapel)
children with large innocent eyes
violins
big hand-knit scarves
the Stone Table scene of Narnia
fallen leaves
a good meal and a good book
old friends I've known for ages
Tuesday prayer meetings
fairy tales
sympathy
bitter cold nights
Robert Elmer
families
Willy Wonka's hat
a fire in the fireplace in the lounge
sweet memories
Koosh balls
"in the next moment he was gone..." *
Scripture keepers
orange soda (SODA, not pop)
two tests down, one to go
courage
cute aliens
mysterious houses
Louisa May Alcott
making someone smile
babies with wee little fingers
"imagine this, I get a phone call from Regis..." **
soft pretzels
fuzzy striped bright-colored gloves
charcoal drawing
stories
Deep Space Nine
friends who fall off their chairs while eating at the cafeteria
SGA chapel every Friday
realizing again, God is God, and I am not

*from The Raider's Promise
** Steven Curtis Chapman

2006-10-15T00:56:00.000-06:00

I really shouldn't be blogging...I have a logo to design, a drawing to work on for an hour, a test tomorrow to study for, and two papers to revise.

So I won't blog. :D I'll just ask for your prayer, not only for my busy-ness, but also for some tough spiritual issues I'm struggling with. I really really need God's strength and His peace right now, and to learn to trust Him with all the things I can't handle...which is pretty much everything when you come right down to it...

Bye, and God bless!

Later: Please also pray for my health, my tummy has decided to revolt and doesn't want to hold any food. *groan*

this is my declaration of dependence...

2006-10-10T13:13:00.000-06:00

wasn't like I was alone, wasn't even like there was an unearthly quiet
after all, college campuses aren't even quiet at night
but the darkness began to seep into my soul
so I repeated it to myself, again and again and again, and when I got back to my room I looked it up and reread it:

"Listen to me," said the King again. "Though I have many things to do in many places, I am always near.
In battle, I am at your hindside.
In duty, I am at your working hand.
In slumber, I bend to protect you.
In loving, I am your heartsong.
In Great Celebration, I am always, always with you."
The King grasped Hero's shoulder with his right hand and said clearly, "You do not have to see me to find me. You do not have to hear me to know my words."
~Tales of the Restoration, David and Karen Mains

Now just the other day

I overheard a flower talking to the sky

He said you know that I

would be nothing without you, oh, oh

He said, you give me rain,

you give the sun a place to shine

You're everything that my

whole existence comes down to, oh, oh

And then the flower started singing a song

Before I knew it I was singing along

And we sang, "this is my declaration of dependence..."

~Declaration of Dependence, Steven Curtis Chapman

warm fuzzies...

2006-10-01T21:22:00.000-06:00

...having just watched the end of Pride and Prejudice. :D

the only sound a soft gasp like a wisp of fog, and the dancing, ever rising, notes of the piano, and silver throbbing strings
and I can't help but wonder: if every emotion in that moment could be put in a box, would that box be as a little piece of heaven
after all, He is our returning prince

2006-09-29T19:11:00.000-06:00

On the twenty-first day of the seventh month, the word of the LORD came through the prophet Haggai: "Speak to Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, to Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to the remnant of the people. Ask them, 'Who of you is left who saw this house in its former glory?"
[I sat at the window on my bed. I stared upward and outward, into the leaves of the trees, and I was ever reaching for the sky beyond the leaves, for the God beyond the sky. And in the next moment He was not beyond... He was there, right there, and His love filled the space between the stars. Or I sat at my computer, looking past it out the window as the sun glowed golden-green through the leaves, molten and pure. And something wondrous welled up in my soul, and I felt so very alive.]
"How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you like nothing?"
[Fear and confusion... doubts rampant. An empty heart. Eyes dry, unable to weep... and then, unable to hold back tears. Miserable and oh so lonely. Frightened of the world, of the world's powers. Burdened with the weight of expectations... and where is God's voice, sometimes when it is quiet? Why has all fallen into ruin?]
"But now be strong, O Zerubbabel,' declares the LORD. 'Be strong, O Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land,' declares the LORD, 'and work. For I am with you,' declares the LORD Almighty. 'This is what I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt. And my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear.'
["Do not fear," I repeat. Do not fear? Do You really mean it? Your Spirit remains among me? You're saying I'm not alone?]
"This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all nations, and the desired of all nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory,' says the LORD Almighty.
[With glory? Surely I heard You wrong.]
'The silver is mine and the gold is mine,' declares the LORD Almighty. 'The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the LORD Almighty.
[What...in the world?? Greater? Do You know what you're saying?]
'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the LORD Almighty."

Speechless.
What more can I say? So I keep going, and I don't forget.

2006-09-24T15:17:00.000-06:00

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know
And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
‘Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I
Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

[Holy is the LORD, holy, holy
Holy is the LORD, holy, holy...]

Oh, how great are the riches
Of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable
For to Him and through Him
And from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God
Only God is God

[Praise the LORD, praise the LORD, holy, holy
Praise the LORD, praise the LORD, praise the LORD...]

~Steven Curtis Chapman, "God is God"

the shape of who I am to You

2006-09-21T20:34:00.000-06:00

Well hello everyone. I don't really have a whole lot to blog about...but I'm blogging anyways for some reason. Oooh I love this line of Waiting for the World to Fall by Jars of Clay: "And all the clouds don't ever change the shape of who I am to You." I'm listening to the Narnia Inspired Soundtrack...man I love it. So, I have my first test tomorrow...yep...in a class I don't like, too. Hopefully it'll go ok though. At least I don't have too much Drawing homework this weekend. For Drawing class I sometimes get 4 or even 6 hour assignments over the weekend, which is really annoying. It's gonna get even heavier later, though, I know...in my junior and senior years. Oh well, I'll deal with that when I get to it. Anyway this weekend's assignment is only two hours. *wipes forehead* In Drawing class today we did elipses (sp?), which are basically like ovals. It was pretty fun, despite his saying it would be difficult. Except, whenever he came around and looked at mine, he'd just tell me to keep working--he wouldn't tell me how I was doing. I guess that means I was doing well...I wish he'd tell me though. Drawing is definitely getting more fun as time goes on and I get more used to working on the huge tablets we use, and get accustomed to the wood benches we sit on, one leg on either side, while drawing. On Tuesday we drew from life, so one of the guys in my class posed for us, lying on a desk. He had to stay absolutely still while we drew him--but thankfully it only took an hour, we didn't do much detail beyond the larger wrinkles in his clothing. And it was supposed to be a foreshortened drawing, which meant I drew from down by his head, so I barely saw his chest--the top of his head was facing me. We had to do one on our own time too, so I got one of the girls down the hall to lie on my bed while I drew her.

Well I think I'll go now, I need to get ready for bed before long. Here's a wall I made using a bunch of my own avatars. Including the ones cut off by the edges, it contains 99 avatars. Tell me how you like it, ok? :D The avs are from Narnia, Greatest Game Ever Played, I Am David, High School Musical, Star Trek, Steven Curtis Chapman's Narnia music video, and some random stuff. Enjoy!

Click to enlarge. Credit here.

here it is...

2006-09-18T12:16:00.000-06:00

Well there it is...Faith Hall, my dorm. It's way out at one corner of campus, so I've got a long walk to get places compared to most people. This view is, obviously, from across the street, standing on the path I take every day because it leads to the main part of campus.

Standing in the same place, this is the view of the path when I turn around. The building is Founder's Hall--no classes there that I know of, just offices.

On a different part of campus--the long, straight walkway that forms part of my walk to chapel every weekday morning. You can barely see the building in the distance.

The DMC, or Dixon Ministry Center. Where I have chapel Monday-Friday. You can see one end of Cedar Lake here, and the bridge going over it.

The lake.

The SCC, or Stevens Student Center, which is located at the other end of the lake. Chuck's, our cafeteria, is in this building, so I go here for meals. It also contains a little cafe called The Hive, a bookstore, and the post office (where I went to get Steph's letter today! Yay!).

A 360 degree view of my room, going around clockwise...

My roommate moved, so I've got the room to myself, which is quite nice.

My wee little bookcase and my bureau. My window is covered to prevent the streetlights from shining in at night.

Two of the three desks in my room. You see, they provide one large desk for each student and also a small desk for the computer that they also provide.

Here you can see the third desk, the one with my own computer on it. You can also see all my purty posters. Oh, and the reason there's a black patch on the box under the other computer desk (in this picture and the last one) is my name was on it--I had to black it out. :)

The door.

My closets. It's quite loverly to have two of them.

And the pretty Narnia poster my oldest sister gave me last Christmas. This is right beside the bunk beds.

Well I need to leave for class in about ten minutes so I'll say bye. Have a good day! Please keep praying for me!

"...will I be more than when I left?
I am holding onto the visions I've seen of what I could be..
this time I won't run away
I'll find the strength to face life's long days..."
~Kutless, More Than It Seems

paper

2006-09-11T22:29:00.000-06:00

This is my first college paper. I thought I might as well post it even though it's not particularly splendid. The assignment was to write about my "philosophy of art." :D Tell me what you think. Please do keep praying for me, too. :)

A child sits at a kitchen table with crayon and paper, drawing. The mother expresses awe over her little one’s creation, and says that perhaps the child will be an artist someday. The child approves of this idea. As years go by, the child’s dream may not change, but the simple idea of art the child once had is influenced over time. The young person is exposed to many different ideas of what art is and who an artist should be, and at the same time finds his own convictions forming deep in his heart. Like every person who aspires to such a lofty-sounding goal as being an artist, the young person shapes fundamental principles for himself, principles that will be the foundation for all he creates.
One of the biggest questions he must answer is: What is an artist, and what is art? To begin with, an artist is someone who notices and responds to his surroundings more deeply than most people. This awareness enables him to create art, to create beautiful things. Art’s whole purpose is to capture beauty. This may seem like an odd definition—do we not we see ugly or even gruesome paintings as well as lovely ones? Yet is a painting that arouses feelings of horror really art? I would argue that it must have some noble purpose for it to be called art. To simply bring out strong emotions in viewers is not enough.
Here is an example. Say one of the workers cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina last year decides to paint one of the devastating scenes he saw there. His purpose is to shake others out of their complacency, to force them to see what their countrymen were experiencing and motivate them to give help. Although such a painting would be intensely unpleasant, there would be beauty to it simply because of the noble goal the artist wished to accomplish. As a Christian, I also find a sort of bittersweet beauty to sorrow, because it brings to mind a verse from the Bible: “Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5b NIV). No matter what happens, the most wonderful of fairytale endings awaits those who trust in Jesus. Every pain and hurt we experience here serves as a reminder that one day all sorrow will end.
Why do people create things? For me, art is what I do when all is well and my heart is at peace. When I am feeling that way, it is very hard to not make things. A sort of hunger forms inside me, and I satisfy it by making icons and computer desktop backgrounds and by sharing them with others. Learning an amazing new technique makes me feel like a child on Christmas morning. My greatest hope is that what I create will move someone, will teach them something, or will simply add beauty to their life.
Art has many purposes in society, however. It was used as a way to record history until photography became widespread. People would treasure family portraits and pass them down from generation to generation. Every day when we see something, anything, that was designed to be pleasing to the eye, we are seeing art. Even a computer or sink or box of crackers has some element of art to it. That is the magic and awe of art: not only does it thrive in squeaky-floored spic-and-span museums, but also in the everyday home, quietly, even anonymously, helping to make life worth living.
In the Bible there is a parable about a master who gives his servants talents to use to further his wealth while he is away. Similarly, I think that God expects us to use what He gives us to further his kingdom. I do not think this means each person with artistic talent must be an artist; rather, I think he must just do whatever God tells him to do, whether it be creating fine art or teaching Sunday school or being a waiter in a restaurant. Wherever God wants him, he must work at his job as unto the Lord.
Every day, beauty in the world around us lifts our spirits and encourages us. Like the great Artist Himself, we too can create art that will honor Him and bring glory to His name.

wings of a dove

2006-09-03T17:18:00.000-06:00

Today when I was out shopping with Mom (at home on break) I saw a white bird fly up through the leaves of a tree. It stood out, bold white against the dark foliage, and it looked so wild, so free, that I envied it, wishing I could be released from the burden of adjusting to this vastly new lifestyle. I wondered what kind of bird it was, perhaps a dove? And then I remembered this part of the book Far from the Storm...

Peter fumbled around in the nightstand drawer for his Bible. Propped on his elbow, he flipped open the well-worn book to the Psalms, his favorite.
I need a good one tonight, God, he prayed quietly. Closing his eyes, he flipped the pages and stabbed his finger down on the page. Elise had told him that God didn't speak that way, but he was too tired to care. When he looked back down at the page, he made out a verse from Psalm 55.
"I am distraught at the voice of the enemy," he read under his breath. "My heart is in anguish within me." He thought about Mr. Poulsen again, about Keld, and about the soldiers racing through the streets at the end of the war.
Lord, every time I think about those people, my knees start to shake.
...I just want to forget about them, Lord, but I can't. Not by myself.
He skipped a couple of verses and kept reading.
"Oh, that I had the wings of a dove..."
That's what I want, too. Or maybe the wings of a pigeon would work okay. That way if I ever see another German soldier, or Mr. Poulsen, or Keld, I can just...
"I would fly away and be at rest. I would flee far away and stay in the desert."
That sounds just about right, God. I'd settle for a little island, maybe.
"I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm."
I don't know where that place is, God. Can you show me?
Peter's eyelids started to feel heavy, and he decided to rest his forehead on the Bible for a moment before he read more. Even though he was tired, he felt better than he had for weeks. And even though a storm of trouble always seemed to find him, he knew God was with him.
Now, if only I had a dove's wings, he prayed once more. Then I could fly away...

~Far from the Storm, from the Young Underground Series by Robert Elmer

well......

2006-08-20T20:14:00.000-06:00

What is there to say? I'm at college...yep...uh-huh... I'm experiencing a wider range of emotions I ever dreamed possible...and I ache for home. I just ache for it. Mom and Dad left so I'm alone...it's the awfulest horrible-est feeling. It comes and goes though, I mean, I had a meeting with this small group thingy I'm in and it's a nice group, the leader of it has a voice very much like Jimmy Stewart's so that's nice. And everyone seems very willing, eager even, to do anything they can to help. Tonight after the meeting was dinner which I met a friend for and then we joined our small-group leaders at their table and got to know them quite a lot better... then afterwards we all played this weirdo pyramid game but during it I just kept thinking how Obi-Wan would love it...please pray that I would not be controlled by fear. Also that I'd be able to sleep well, today I learned that I can actually make it through the day with having had only 3 hours of sleep the night before. X_X But oh how I miss my family! I miss how safe I felt, how protected. Now there's heaps of responsibility on my shoulders. It's quite frightening. But Mom and Dad just kept saying that this is normal, that it will get better. And I am safe and protected here too... it's just different. Ach it's hard to explain all my feelings...just pray that I would make it!! And honor God not dishonor Him.

frozen

2006-08-16T17:28:00.000-06:00

Brush credit here.
This av pretty much says how I feel. It's become a sort of numbness...frozen-ness...

I wrote a story. All summer I've been writing it actually. I finished it yesterday. It's just another thing that makes me wonder if I'll wake up any second to find that this is all a dream. Anyway I'm not going to post it because it's about three times as long as my last story. But instead of being just a random mystery story I wrote as Writing Class homework, it's about real people, very real people. Real to me. They're more than just characters. They inspire me, teach me, make me wonder sometimes if my spiritual maturity will ever reach theirs. And, the story takes place in my loverly imaginary land, which has expanded mightily since I posted that story about Samuel and Athalie. (Sometime I really should go back and give that story a makeover, it really needs it.) :D

Blah blah blah I feel like I'm saying nothing. Know what I mean? Like in the one episode of Star Trek when Picard is lying there badly wounded and Wesley's hurriedly trying to explain to him how he's going to defeat the enemy. Talking and talking, saying anything to keep from giving Picard a chance to say the words he dreads. "Wesley, I may not make it..." Maybe, just maybe, if I keep talking about good and happy things, if I keep laughing and smiling, maybe the pain will be gone when I'm quiet again.

Strange that I should like that particular episode of Star Trek, since I can't stand the guy who acts the part of Wesley. Terrible acting! But his character draws me, simply because he is young and inexperienced and about to go off to school, just like me. And because of the pain and aloneness he feels, and the burden of responsibility that lies heavy on his shoulders.

(So anyways, if anyone reeeally wants to read a 22-page story which is very rough-draft I can email it to you. ;) )

I think I'll go play this delightfully dorky game now. Have a good day and God be with you!

without You

2006-08-14T23:26:00.000-06:00

Today was a really strange day. This morning I went on NarniaWeb and saw I had seventeen comments on my goodbye wallpaper. Then in the afternoon I went to my last art lesson at my art teacher's house, and said goodbye to her. And this evening there was a church event, where I said goodbye to our pastor's family, who I've gotten to know quite well from going over to their house weekly to play with the kids. Their mom is what I guess you would call one of my spiritual mentors. So... it was very weird. I feel like I'm on another planet or something, it's just all so strange. I' m leaving? I'm going to share a room with someone I've never met? I'm going to study to become a real artist? I'm going to eat alone, without my family, in a huge mess hall?

Some quotes that have been bouncing around in my head lately...

Had it been a week yet? A month? Not quite; it was only Thursday. After three long days of walking, the time almost didn't make any difference. ...Dov, on the other hand, had decided on a better plan: denial. He pretended none of it was real. His stomach had long since given up rumbling, even when he thought about food. He was past being hungry. His lips were cracked, even when he took a sip of water from David Levin's canteen. No problem. Who needed lips, anyway?
-Robert Elmer, True Betrayer

~~~

And then Bree looked for her God. Fear not came His words. But a growing terror edged its way into Bree's mind. How can I not fear when this voyage was begun without You? Fear not? Bree wanted to throw the words back in God's face. So I'm the one in charge of praying for this ship, she thought bitterly. But how can I pray in faith? Mikkel planned this trip without asking You about it. How can I seek Your face and cry out to You when I know he wants only honor, and fame, and wealth?
Sitting down again, Bree leaned forward and buried her face in her lap. When those who had been sleeping started moving around her, she tried to shut them out... Suddenly Bree understood Thorgeir the Icelander going into his booth and pulling a cloak over his face. Pulling her own cloak over her head, Bree tried to create a space where she only heard God. Within moments it came. Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. The still, small voice that Bree recognized. I have called you by name; you are Mine.
With a deep inward sense, God spoke to her panic through words she had memorized. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! In the hours that followed, Bree lost track of time. But she clung to the words that gave her hope. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
-Lois Walfrid Johnson, Heart of Courage

It hurts...it really really hurts. If you pray for me, please pray specifically that I would deeply sense God's nearness. Yesterday I kind of got sidetracked...something happened which came between Him and me, and now it's harder to sense His presence. Which is what I really need now, you know? For those of you who are unaware, I'm leaving for college on Thursday. Yep.

Just put me to bed
And tuck me in
And sing me a lullaby or two
And I'll go to sleep
And I'll dream all night
Of roses and butterflies and you
But when the sun comes up
If you are gone
I'll cry and cry til I'm in your arms
Cause this livin' thing I just can't do
Without you

to an avatar

2006-08-06T20:05:00.000-06:00

It looks so small, alone on the page. One tiny square in all the white. Add forty or so more and they will cover the page... a symphony of thoughts and feelings and emotions, of stories and lives and people’s hearts. Look closely at it... it is a world all its own. Maybe it doesn’t need to be bigger... you just need to be smaller. Need to be silent and become a child again. And you will find yourself looking around, full of wonder... For the miracle is there to all who will light the fire of imagination, and the beauty is there to all who will let it gently blossom in their hearts.

when evening falls so hard

2006-07-30T13:52:00.000-06:00

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!
Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.

~Psalm 25:16-20~

When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all;
I’m on your side.
When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you’re down and out,
When you’re on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I’ll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

~from Bridge Over Troubled Water, by Paul Simon~

from someplace else

2006-07-25T21:00:00.000-06:00

Today I got my hair cut for the first time in five years.

The last time I got a haircut...
-I'd probably never made a wallpaper, and certainly not an avatar
-if someone had mentioned blogging to me, I would've had no idea what they were talking about
-I don't think I knew there was going to be a Narnia movie
-I was finishing seventh grade
-Breehlan (my imaginary land) didn't exist (!!!)
-I'd never heard of the Viking Quest series
-we had no cats :'(
-my relationship with God was, well, a lot LOT weaker, if it could even be called a relationship

I was so very different. I wondered, these past few days, if having my hair cut to my shoulders would make me feel like I did the last time it was that length. It doesn't. Instead of looking like that girl with the tangly straight mop in the photos, I look...older. Wiser? Haha... More alive, for sure, thanks to Someone's help. In a way, younger at heart than ever I was...but deeper inside if you know what I mean. I don't know...my head aches (from being lighter? :D) and I can't figure it all out. But I don't need to; who I am now is what matters, but even more, who God is now in my life.

Listening to The Greatest Game Ever Played soundtrack. Wow. Just beautiful. Absolutely inspiring and adventurous and touching.

-please read the second paragraph in my last post. :)

in the cleft of the rock

2006-07-23T13:21:00.000-06:00

Hey there everyone! How's it going? I really need to post so here I am. :D So what's going on...right now everything is pretty much hot and cold, good and bad. It's the weirdest sensation... And of course college is coming in less than a month. I leave August 17, so your prayers for that day and the days following would be very muchly appreciated. I feel like I'm heading off a cliff...I'm really not sure how else to describe it. I've begun counting down the days. Three more Sundays, a scant three more services in my dear church. How on earth can I leeeeave? I'd better change the subject before I start crying...yeah....

Anyway, I had my grad party a week ago yesterday and it was neat cause I had a book there for people to write in. I got a note from CQ (my dear friend since childhood), one from her brother, one from Pastor, and one from his wife who is a friend of mine. So when I'm lonely I can read those. Pastor's note, which has an intro, four points, and a conclusion, can also double as a sermon when I'm lonely for my home church's services. If any of you feel so inclined, I'd love to get notes from you too, in my comments. :) I'm specifically looking for "words of encouragement, advice, and exhortation". So if you wanna you can do that.

So what else is happening. I've been making lots of artwork of that alien in my last post. :D He's only in one episode of Star Trek but I reeeeally like him. So I've made avs and things of him...this is my favorite av I made showing him. The reason it says 'defective' is because his people are genetically engineered to serve (and even worship) the Founders, who are evil. But he, Weyoun 6, runs away and joins the good guys. He wonders whether what he's doing is right--since in his heart he still worships the Founders--but he strongly disagrees with the way they're trying to conquer the good guys.

Well I think I shall end now, have a splendid day! (Oh and the title is from a song by Fanny Crosby) Bye!

2006-07-18T23:15:00.000-06:00

Isn't this the cutest alien you ever saw?

Yeah, I know, I'm weird. :D For a more serious post, see below. ;)

the way

2006-07-12T15:15:00.000-06:00

Last night we watched the episode In the Cards. I laughed when Nog said, "lions and Gigers and bears" and Jake murmured, "oh, my." I laughed when Nog said Jake needed to get out and clear his head and they were unexpectedly beamed aboard the enemy vessel and Nog said, "uh, this wasn't what I had in mind." I really laughed when the Jake claimed the two boys were top secret spies searching for Willie Mayes who was really not from the past but from the future and they had to stop him before he destroyed the universe.

This afternoon I watched the episode The Siege of AR-558. I watched Nog bravely lead a scouting party to search for their ruthless enemies, only to watch one of their toughest leaders fall when he didn't detect the approaching Jem'Hadar in time. I watched Nog's uncle snap at Captain Sisko, telling him that if had cared about Nog, he wouldn't have sent him on the mission; and Sisko tell him sharply that he cared about each soldier who served under him. And I got teary-eyed when Sisko went to visit the wounded Nog, who attempted to sit up at the sight of his beloved Captain; when Sisko told him he'd done well with emotion in his face; and when Nog reassured him that "he'd be fine."

The rain is pouring down outside, but the air seems full of light. Each droplet reflects the soft white light sifting through the clouds. There are shadows under every leaf, but they only serve to bring out the shining beauty of the wetly-shimmering top of the leaf. Graceful dark curves form the tree's trunk and branches, darkened by the dampness. Between the leaves white gaps glow.

cover the distance, love in between us
when I am cold and afraid
you are the secret spoken in silence
keeping the vow You have made

carry the message deep in the hollow
hide it away underground
there is a weary confidence failing
when it is lost, I am found

You hold me through sparks and shadows
You sing me awake
when night falls and my thoughts wander
You stay
I love the way

~Twila Paris

art

2006-07-09T20:37:00.000-06:00

Hey there everybody! I want to show off some really cool art people have been posting over on NarniaWeb. Check it out!
Right now there's a poster contest going on--it closes midnight tonight actually. there are some really cool ones:
The Dawn Treader
Prince Caspian (isn't this one stupendous?! I hope it wins!)
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
The Magician's Nephew
The Last Battle (this one is really original--it took me a minute to figure out, but I think it's pretty good)

Here's some random stuff:
Belle from Beauty and the Beast
Even though I haven't seen PotC or PotC2, I like this
a lovely little avatar series
stunning Fourth-of-July avatar & banner set
stock avs! In other words, avatars made of simple stock photos of things like people and water.
more stock avs

Also look at this gorgeous picture! I'm awed.

Well that should give you lotsa stuff to click! :D By the way, I'll be leaving for college in just over a month. Your prayers concerning that are much appreciated. :) Bye now, and go with God!

quotes

2006-07-02T17:29:00.000-06:00

"How can something that looks so pretty taste so bad?"
~David, I Am David

"I'm free, but I'm not happy yet."
~The Raider's Promise, Lois Walfrid Johnson

"It's like they say: 'To live is to love. All reasons against it; all instincts for it.' "
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know. I read it on a calendar."
~Porter & Sandy, Flipper

"Wake up with the dawn."
~Jesse, Tuck Everlasting

"That honor, courage and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil... You see, a man should believe in those things, because...those are the things worth believing in."
~Hub, Secondhand Lions

"Did I just smile at you?"
"Yes. How come?"
"I don't know."
"Is it because you think I look funny?"
"No."
"Then...maybe you love me."
~David & Maria, I Am David

"That's the thing about faith...if you don't have it, you can't understand it. If you do, no explanation is necessary."
~Major Kira Nerys, Star Trek Deep Space Nine

Yeah, I know I should do a real post, but I really wanted to post some of these cool quotes I've been hearing lately. I think I'm forgetting some, so I may add to this post later. Have a good day, and pray for Brittni! (She got badly hurt--you can read about it on Lysh's blog.) Well bye now!

and I can't let go of Your hand

2006-06-25T15:08:00.000-06:00

"I had fainted, unless I had believed to see

the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord, be of good courage,

and he shall strengthen thine heart;

wait, I say, on the Lord."

Psalms 27: 13-14

~*~

Did we in our own strength confide

Our striving would be losing...

Martin Luther

~*~

The upright see and rejoice,

but all the wicked shut their mouths.
Whoever is wise, let him heed these things

and consider the great love of the LORD.

Psalm 107:42-43

~*~

cold, cold water

surrounds me now

and I can't let go of Your hand

Lord, can You hear me now

or am I lost?

Damien Rice

~*~

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

surrounds me now

2006-06-23T20:43:00.000-06:00

It's getting dark, and little patches of the graying sky show between the leaves of the gracefully curving maple's branches. It rained *again*--the plants are certainly getting plenty of water and are practically glowing. As the twilight dulls their vivid color, golden light spills from the windows, and I think how much more I like regular lightbulbs than fluorescent (sp?) ones. I'm not playing any music--lately I've been absentminded and when I turn it off, for some reason I forget to turn it back on. Earlier today, though, I was reminded of how important it is for my artwork when my player wouldn't open. When it finally did start working, the music of the Cottars was very welcome to my ears and gave me determination in my avvie-making.

Check out this blog, it looks to be definately worth reading!! I stumbled across it on NarniaWeb.

The birds are chirping. I love to hear them settle down for the night. I wonder when the crickets and cicadas will began to start up their racket--I haven't heard them yet this year. I love the sound they make, it's such a comforting, familiar noise.

So what else is going on...I got a shot at the doctor's on Monday or Tuesday in my left arm and it's still sore. Yup...exciting stuff. :D For some reason I'm in rather a good mood. For awhile after graduation I was in a bad mood...college weighing me down and all. Though it still is. I feel as though my life were in a box and a giant picked up the box and shook it hard, jumbling up my thoughts and feelings and mind process. So now it's sort of like, who I am? Sigh I know everyone feels that way more than once in their lives. :D I'm just glad that God doesn't change. Wouldn't it be awful if we couldn't rely on Him to be steady and trustworthy, to stay good and pure even when we feel overwhelmed by the world's evil?

I'm really tired...man I'm surprised I even got this far in the post, my brain is pretty much jello. :D Well have a great evening, or morning, or day, or whatever. Ta ta!

forty-two

2006-06-22T12:57:00.000-06:00

Well I really should blog...but I just lost the good-size post I was typing...so perhaps I shall just post some avatars and do a regular post soon.

I Am David

Star Trek

Narnia

Steven Curtis Chapman's Remembering You music video

credit here.

drumroll please......

2006-06-19T13:51:00.000-06:00

Please welcome a new blogger to the community:

my mom!

Go and visit her blog and leave her lots of nice comments! :D

I know I should write a longer post but I want to get busy fiddling with her template. Zippedy do da...

2006-06-16T11:34:00.000-06:00

I have a room that I fill with
All manner of beautiful things
Paintings and sketches on the walls
A bird on a stand that sings

A long cape hanging on a peg
Green velvet with a hood
A vase brimming with lavender
On a table of cedar wood

A cat upon a rocking chair
A rug of blue and gold
Three shelves hold several dozen books
Their pages yellowed and old

They tell of stories from far away
Of a Viking upon the seas
Of one true God stronger than him
Of the Irish lass he frees

Of knights riding in armor bright
That now is edged in rust
Of cowboys in the Wild West
Their brown boots caked in dust

Of one small girl finding a land
Encased in snowy white
Of fairies dancing in a glen
By silvery moonlight

I have a room that I fill with
All manner of beautiful things
Paintings and sketches on the walls
A bird on a stand that sings

But when night comes, my room falls dark
On the window seat I lay
For by the window after dusk
Is the best time to pray

For, lovely things brighten my life
But worthless they would be
Without my Father in my heart
The King of all beauty.

2006-06-15T15:52:00.000-06:00

This picture makes my heart sing.
(also from I Am David.)

2006-06-13T01:54:00.000-06:00

Two people, a man and a boy, load rocks onto a wheelbarrow. Communist soldiers watch as their prisoners work. The boy, David, talks to the man, Johannes. David wants to know who his parents were, what they were like, since he has few memories of them, having spent most of his life in the communist concentration camp. But Johannes knows less about them than David.

David: I wish I were dead.

Johannes: Don't ever say that. Don't even think it.

David: Why not? There's nothing good here! What's the point in even staying alive?

Johannes: 'Cause if you're alive you can change things. If you're dead you can't. Do whatever you can to stay alive, no matter what.

It was the kind of movie that attached itself to my heart, made me want to see it again. Had the kind of characters that were not just actors on a screen but very real people...people with all different backgrounds, cultures, motives...it makes for a richness to the film.

Walden Media may be a newish company but they're already right on track, from what I've seen. First Narnia, then this...I definately recommend the movie I Am David.

--> Find out about it here.

ceremony

2006-06-12T00:57:00.000-06:00

We formed a rainbow of red and green and pink and blue and black and purple and aqua, all standing in a long line in our heavy gowns and tasseled mortarboard caps. Little pendants reading "class of 06" were attached to the tassels. I was too nervous to feel sorry for the person playing "Pomp and Circumstance" over and over and over as the students ahead of me walked out one by one. Then it was me standing there at the end of the aisle, waiting for my turn. I saw the helper gesture to me, and I walked forward, slowly, slowly. We weren't supposed to rush, but it was hard not to. I tried to glance at my family, but they were lost in the sea of people crowding the santuary of the church. Only when I got to the front and was taking my place in the row did I catch a glimpse of Mom. That was the only time in the whole afternoon I struggled against tears. But my prayers were answered and not one slipped out.

There were singers and speakers, and most of them were good, making for an enjoyable ceremony. We were given roses to give to our mothers. They would wilt in a mere day's time, but in that moment they were beautiful and perfect. One of my sisters photographed me holding the rose. It stands out against my gown, the deep red against the deep green.

CucumberQueen was there, as lovely as a summer day in her light flowy dress. After the ceremony her brother took pictures of our family, all six of us, and Granpa and Nana in addition. And one of us took a picture of their family, all seven of them. We goofed off a little, it was good just to be together, her family and ours.

One of the most wonderful moments, though, was when, at the end, the lady called us all up onto the stage and introduced us as the class of 2006. Huge cheers rose up around us, whoops and whistles mingling as caps of all colors flew into the air above me.

It was quite a day.

"They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works.
They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds.
They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness."

Psalm 145:5-7, emphasis added

2006-06-07T10:20:00.000-06:00

"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:6-9 (emphasis added)

twenty-eight

2006-06-04T20:06:00.000-06:00

Credit here.

As you can see I've been busy!! And...wow, come to think of it, I made all those in less than a week. O_O Whoa. So yes I am enjoying the freedom I now have, the freedom to spend all day make computer art!

Look at this awesome site! I'm pretty sure the webmistress is a Christian, and it's just such a neat site! She makes avatar bases--little square pics that just need to be fixed up and decorated to be avatars. I used her bases for all of the above avatars.

Well what else's going on...my grandparents are coming this week!! Yay!!! :D So we're getting things ready for them. Mom's making lasagna in the kitchen and it smells sooo good...mmm. I love italian food, they always put in so much garlic and I love garlic. My sister made the most delicious chicken parmesian (sp?) the other night. It was heavenly. We're still watching lots of Deep Space Nine which is good...I love seeing the character development.

Bye now! Have a good evening! or morning, or whatever time of day you're reading this. :D Sometime I must post a passage of Scripture I've been finding encouraging lately. Anyway bye!

2006-06-01T02:12:00.000-06:00

"Do you know that you insult me?" said Alan, very low.

"I am sorry for that," said I, "for I am not done; and if you distaste the sermon, I doubt the pirliecue will please you as little. You have been chased in the field by the grown men of my party; it seems a poor kind of pleasure to outface a boy. Both the Campbells and the Whigs have beaten you; you have run before them like a hare. It behoves you to speak of them as of your betters."

Alan stood quite still, the tails of his greatcoat clapping behind him in the wind.

"This is a pity," he said at last. "There are things said that cannot be passed over."

"I never asked you to," said I. "I am as ready as yourself."

"Ready?" said he.

"Ready," I repeated. "I am no blower and boaster like some that I could name. Come on!" And drawing my sword, I fell on guard as Alan himself had taught me.

"David!" he cried. "Are ye daft? I cannae draw upon ye, David. It's fair murder."

"That was your lookout when you insulted me," said I.

"It's the truth!" cried Alan, and he stood for a moment, wringing his mouth in his hand like a man in sore perplexity. "It's the bare truth," he said, and drew his sword. But before I could touch his blade with mine, he had thrown it from him and fallen to the ground. "Na, na," he kept saying, "na, na--I cannae, I cannae."

At this the last of my anger oozed all out of me; and I found myself only sick, and sorry, and blank, and wondering at myself. I would have given the world to take back what I had said; but a word once spoken, who can recapture it? I minded me of all Alan's kindness and courage in the past, how he had helped and cheered and borne with me in our evil days; and then recalled my own insults, and saw that I had lost forever that doughty [valiant] friend. At the same time, the sickness that hung upon me seemed to redouble, and the pang in my side was like a sword for sharpness. I thought I must have swooned where I stood.

...I put my pride away from me. "Alan!" I said; "if ye cannae help me, I must just die here."

He started up sitting, and looked at me.

"It's true," said I. "I'm by with it. O, let me get into the bield [shelter] of a house--I'll can die there easier." I had no need to pretend; whether I chose or not, I spoke in a weeping voice that would have melted a heart of stone.

"Can ye walk?" asked Alan.

"No," said I, "not without help. This last hour my legs have been fainting under me... If I die, ye'll can forgive me, Alan? In my heart, I liked ye fine--even when I was the angriest."

"Wheesht, wheesht!" cried Alan. "Dinna say that! David man, ye ken [know]--" He shut his mouth upon a sob. "Let me get my arm about ye," he continued; "that's the way! Now lean upon me hard..."

..."Alan," cried I, "what makes ye so good to me? What makes ye care for such a thankless fellow?"

" 'Deed, and I don't know," said Alan. "For just precisely what I thought I liked about ye, was that ye never quarrelled--and now I like ye better!"

--from Kidnapped, by Robert Louis Stevenson

2006-05-29T20:24:00.000-06:00

Take a peek at my sidebar, I added some stuff! I updated my links section and added a wallpapers section and a "pretty sites" section. :D So check those out. Here's my latest wallpaper, check it out too. Am I bugging y'all with my Trekkie-ness? Tell me if I'm going overboard, please. :D Well I must go shower, so here's that wall. Bye!

down and up

2006-05-28T18:17:00.000-06:00

I feel like posting again already. I am absolutely exhausted--from vacation, staying up late watching Star Trek on Friday, and getting up for church this morning. Church was great though: instead of a sermon time, we had a prayer time where people would share what was burdening them. After they shared, Pastor would say, "Anyone know of a verse related to that particular need?" and someone would share a verse. Then Pastor or one of the other church leaders prayed specifically for that need. It was...really good. Really...encouraging to be reminded that the church is there for me, for each of us. Perhaps I should have asked for prayer, but "I'm scared of going to college" somehow sounded kind of feeble next to the prayers concerning missionaries, health problems, and financial issues. :D Although right now it's more than just college that is burdening me...it's the whole idea of being an adult. Sigh...I am so sick of this. So sick of complaining about it! I just want it all gone. It's so annoying how my emotions mess with me when I'm this tired. *glares at emotions*

So...on a happier topic, my family got a season of episodes of Deep Space Nine...which, for those of you who don't know, is one of the Star Trek series. It focuses on the space station called Deep Space Nine, thus the title. It's so great, it's worldly sometimes but there's also a lot of qualities in it I admire, such as courage, honor, integrity, nobility, compassion, and loyalty. I like how the writers didn't shy away from difficult issues. Star Trek often brings about discussions about right and wrong in our family, beginning with my brother asking Dad, "Dad, what do think the right thing to do is in that situation?" Anyway I took screencaps today and I should post some sometime and do some character sketches--in other words, describe some of the characters for y'all. Here, I'll just post one. It shows the Commander of the station, Sisko, talking with his son, Jake, about how important their relationship is. Sisko's wife died several years ago, and the two are very close. I love this picture...

vacation at Summit Inn

2006-05-27T00:24:00.000-06:00

We arrived on Tuesday. I was tired out, so while some of the others went hiking, I stayed at the inn. Taking up the book I had just started, a bottle of water, and a bag of gingersnaps to tide me over til dinner, I headed out onto the veranda.

I spent perhaps half an hour out there before deciding it was too chilly and moving indoors. In the large lobby, a fire snapped and crackled in the fireplace. Pulling up a worn wood rocker, I sat and continued my book. After dinner I went exploring. Towards the back of the inn there was a red door I didn't remember ever going through. It lead outdoors to a grassy area behind the building.

Curious, I went to see what was around that far corner of the building. The view took my breath away.

I was on top of the world.

I walked down near the pool to take another picture. I couldn't help but wonder why anyone would want to swim instead of just staring at the beautiful mystery of the distant horizon.

Later, I found a quiet nook in the lobby to read in.

As I read Scottish tales of mystery, adventure, and love woven together, the sun slipped lower and lower. Its light spilled over me, feeling like a gentle, loving caress.

I knew I should take a photo of the sunset before it disappeared, so I went outside to the higher veranda.

Not long after taking the photo, I left camera and book in our room and went outside again the back way to view the sunset from the grassy ledge I'd discovered before. I was out there awhile. Later I wrote about it briefly in my journal: "The world looked so big and so small at the same time. I felt I could fly like Peter Pan, if only my will were strong enough."

We got back yesterday; the best day was the first.

"are you with me?"

2006-05-21T17:15:00.000-06:00

Well howdy folks!! :D Schoolwork is just about done for me now. I look forward to nice long relaxing summer with (hopefully) more blogging!! My mom and oldest sister are even thinking of getting blogs--isn't that awesome?! :D I also finally got to join NarniaWeb. It's such a great enviroment for Narniac artists!!! Other online artist enviroments can be, well, pretty dark and depressing, which just bothers me. But NarniaWeb is safe and clean, due to some strict rules against things like swearing and the good moderators who make sure the rules are followed. It's great to have a place especially to show my art and get advice on it. And now that the Narnia DVD's out, I can take screencaps and make all the Narnia wallpapers I want!!!! *jumps up and down* So I've been having TONS of fun with that!

So what else is going on. Well I finished rereading the Viking Quest series--except that I didn't feel like reading the last one again just yet. I've gone a little nuts with that one since it just came out in January. All I can say is, it's the most beautiful, amazing story ever. Except for Narnia, of course. The two are about equal in my heart, Viking Quest and Narnia. :D Emotionally I'm feeling kinda weird though...with the year being done and all. It's just very strange...the idea of no more homeschooling...you might as well tell me there'll be no more cars or hills or grass.

~~~~
Oreius stood tall, staring straight ahead as the eagles and gryphons dropped rocks on the enemy. The Chief Gryphon's words still rang in his head: "They come...in numbers and weapons far greater than our own." The chances of winning the victory, with Aslan gone, were slim. A movement at his side caught his eye, and he turned. Peter, the young man who was the fulfilling of the great prophecy, was looking at him. The steadiness in his eyes went to Oreius's heart--he remembered how uncertain the boy had been at first, how doubtful of his role and his ability to lead.
His gaze meeting Oreius's, his king spoke. "Are you with me?"
All that doubt was gone now. Courage hung about Peter like a cloak. Pride rose in Oreius's heart, pride not just in his beautiful land of Narnia, but now in this young leader he had come to respect. He replied in a quiet, but sure, tone.
"To the death."

I want their courage.

drawing a blank on a title...

2006-05-14T12:54:00.000-06:00

Here's a poem I wrote for writing class.

‘Round my finger I twisted my hair
As I sat at my desk full of despair.
I was trying to write a poem for class;
I needed to do a good job to pass.

When suddenly, poof! A man appeared.
He was short and fat with a long white beard.
He took the paper away from me
And began to write stanzas, one, two, three!

“There ye go, lass.” He gave me a wink
And disappeared before I could think!
I read it to see what it was about,
Typed it in, and printed it out.

“It’s practically perfect, I must say,”
I thought as I turned it in next day.
When Teacher asked how I wrote it so well,
I smiled and said, “I cannot tell.”

Well my evaluation is OVER! So all I have to do is finish my government book, my math book, and my presidents book and then I'm finished! Boy does it feel reeaally weird though! The idea of being done... is just very strange. I've always done schoolwork all summer. But this summer I have none. Makes my emotions pretty mixed right now. But of course there are lots of good things about what's happening. I've got more time for art, and I've been playing with layers which is really fun. Basically it's a really cool way to alter the coloring, brightness, and contrast of a picture. I'm loving it!!!

Oh, and we just saw an awesome movie that I must recommend: The Greatest Game Ever Played. It's about golfing but I didn't find it boring, despite what one might think. The main actor, Shia LaBeouf, is so good. And there's this cute little boy the main character becomes good friends with--their friendship is so sweet. I like the subtly in the movie, the way they could have gone with the cliche but didn't. At least I thought so. Give it a try if you have the chance.

a post

2006-05-08T17:19:00.000-06:00

Wow I have over 200 posts on my blog. Crazy. :D

I really shouldn't be posting, my brain's currently not working...but I need to, it's been a week. So I will, and hopefully I'll make sense. :D

My life is VERY busy right now, and very exhausting, especially emotionally. I'm finishing up schoolwork for the year--my last year being homeschooled. It's like coming to the end of the world. I've been homeschooled all my life, and it's all I know. And in less than a month it will all be over.

Part of finishing each year is collecting samples of my work into a binder, or portfolio. Then Mom and I go to the house of a lady who evaluates me, using my portfolio to see if I've done enough work to graduate from this grade. (This is required of homeschoolers where I live.) So to get ready for my evaluation, which is very soon, Mom and I have to gather samples from all my subjects.

Also my sister is supposed to get home from college very soon so we're scrambling to make space for all the stuff she'll bring back. I've been working on that since Friday and I finished today. Finally. VICTORY.

And...I have to go help with dinner but I hope to continue this post later. Byeeee!!

~*~

So what else is happening. I'm rereading the Viking Quest books and enjoying them SO MUCH. They are so amazing...wow. I love how they're not really individual books but rather one big tale, a tale full of the power of forgiveness and redemption and courage and, most of all, the power of God. It's so beautiful, and at the same time real and touchable.

Hooray for the green! The big beautiful maple outside my bedroom window has officially got its leaves now and I'm so excited. Ha maybe it's silly of me, but I get so happy, seeing every little thing put on vibrant green, covering the brown.

Well ta ta, I must go read The Invisible Friend! :D

and the conclusion...

2006-05-01T16:56:00.000-06:00

It was a huge mansion with two wings and seven chimneys and a row of columns holding up the porch roof. Mrs. Everworthy had told me about how she grew up in the mansion and loved it dearly. After her son and his wife died, she moved into their house to live with her granddaughter, and rather then letting it sit empty, she had rented it out. I hoped that the people living in it would let me look through the books in the library. How Mrs. Everworthy had gone on about it! I used to spend hours there as a little girl, she would say, reading everything I could get my hands on! What fun I had!
I practically ran up the drive, so that I was still out of breath when a maid answered the door. At my request, she fetched her mistress. I explained the situation in one breath, and to my surprise, she was quite willing to let me do as I wished. The maid showed me to the library and I was left alone.
I was just starting dig in when, like a thunderclap, I remembered. Mr. MacKenzie had reminded us: the mystery was for Miss Lempin, and I couldn’t search without her helping. Without us working as a team. As my heart sank, I heard the clicking of shoes on the marble floor of the hall. I turned as Miss Lempin entered the room.
She stopped just inside the doorway, and we just stared at each other. Her eyes were red, obviously from crying, and I felt like a cad. Before I knew I was going to say something, I stepped forward and spoke. “What I said—it was cruel and unkind. I beg your pardon, truly I do…”
You could have knocked me over with a feather when she raised a slender white hand to stop me. “No. You were…you were right. I’m the one who should be sorry.” She tried to meet my eyes but failed. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you.”
I didn’t know what to say. For someone like her to say such a thing…well, I knew she wasn’t as bad as I’d thought. I walked closer and handed her the torn page without speaking.
She gasped. “The clue!”
“Look at the other side,” I advised quietly.
All was quiet as she read the note. A few tears slipped down her cheek when she finished. “She wouldn’t say that if she saw…” She gestured with her arm.
I don’t know where I got the courage to speak my thought, but I did. “She would.”
Her gaze met mine in surprise, and I saw the gratefulness in hers. My face grew hot, and I quickly turned back to the books. “C’mon. We’ve got work to do.”
In twenty minutes or so, I let out a shout. “Look!” It was a magenta leather book with A Christmas Carol along the side in gold. I handed it to Miss Lempin, and she eagerly began to flip through it, looking.
“Wait!” Something wasn’t right. I took it from her and turned to the front. There was the title page. We looked at each other. “It’s the wrong copy,” I said, and we began searching again. About an hour later, Miss Lempin gave an “Oh!”
I ran over to where she held a plain leather-bound book, also labeled A Christmas Carol. Miss Lempin glanced at me before opening it.
The first half of the pages was normal—except for where the title page was missing. But the second half of the book had been carefully pulled out and a little wooden box of the perfect width and height and depth had been attached to the back cover. It was kept shut with a tiny latch, which Miss Lempin carefully pushed aside. Slowly she opened the box.
Right on top was the will, folded neatly. Underneath were a ruby ring, an emerald necklace, a wide embroidered silk ribbon, and another box, a tiny one. Miss Lempin took the things out one by one, handling them with care and tenderness. When she opened the tiny box, she gave a little smile. “I think you should have this,” she told me, and handed it to me. Inside, held in place by a pearl-headed pin, was a swallowtail butterfly. One I had caught for Mrs. Everworthy.
“She told me of her studio up in the woods.” Miss Lempin fingered the necklace, touching every gem. “Sometime…do you think you might show it to me?”
I smiled as I stretched my stiff limbs, victory in my heart. “All right.” I closed the tiny box to keep the butterfly safe.

part four

2006-04-25T17:55:00.000-06:00

I'm having tons of fun teaching myself new techniques with my computer art, such as the use of textures. You can see what textures are here. They can really transform an image and I love using them!!

I'm delighting in all the leaves that are starting to appear. I love their smooth surfaces, some shiny and some soft; I love their colors, from the red of the pin oak and Japanese maple to (especially) the greens of the lilac bushes and maples and oaks; I love the shadow patterns they cast on the lush grass, shifting gently in the breeze; I love the way the sunlight shines through them at sunset, a natural stained-glass-window in an open-air church where birds and insects sing praises to God; I love the way the twilight silhouettes them against the deep blue sky.

Welllll here's part four, leaving only part five to be posted! I know the story's kinda long so don't read it if you'd rather not. :)

The dry dead leaves that covered the forest floor felt rough beneath my feet as I walked up into the woods. A squirrel dashed up the trunk of a nearby sugar maple, stopping to look down at me from the lowest branch. Its bushy, gray-brown tail waved repeatedly like an Indian giving smoke signals with a blanket. Two robins were splashing in a stream several yards ahead, grooming themselves with such care I would have, ordinarily, laughed. In that moment, however, I couldn't even smile; my heart was heavy with regret.
How could I be so sharp to her? I picked apart a small crown vetch blossom, still walking. Stuck-up though she is, she's missin' Mrs. Everworthy too. She lost her parents already... I paused at the realization. She's got nobody left. Just like me.
I continued walking. The difference is, she just lost her family. I'm used to looking out for myself. I thought again of the poison ivy incident. For the most part, anyway.
Up ahead, there began to show the small cabin, Mrs. Everworthy's nature studio. It wasn't painted or even whitewashed; the wood was left bare to gray over the years. I unlatched and opened the door, and then I just stood and looked. It was the same little cabin it had always been, cluttered with dried leaves and flowers, stones and shells and arrowheads and feathers, sketches and watercolors and journals full of scribbled notes about everything from where the robins liked to nest to what the raccoons would eat when Mrs. Everworthy left food for them. But without her there, it was like an empty shell.
A refreshing breeze gusted through my hair, past me, and into the room. I jumped forward as papers went flying. A drawing of a snail blew right into my face as I scrambled to pick them all up. As the wind died down again, I stacked them neatly on the table, one by one. The snail drawing. A page illustrating what happened when a dragonfly got its wings. A ripped-out page from a book. I stopped short.
A torn page.
My hand shaking a little with excitement, I lifted it and read aloud. "A Christmas Carol." It was the title page. "By Charles Dickens." I turned it over, looking for more. The other side had only tiny print towards the bottom and a note written in familiar flowing script. I read it silently.

Dear Rachel Caroline Lempin,
Good for you! You have found the last clue in the little "treasure hunt" I put together for you. I hope you are not too annoyed with me for doing this. I want you to have the experience of earning something for yourself. I love you very much and I'm very proud of you, darling. I'm asking God to be with you when I no longer can, to help you to find the treasure that I know is hidden deep in your heart. You have more potential then you know, dearest. Now keep looking--you're almost done with the search!
All my love,
Your grandmother

I looked up, hoping Mrs. Everworthy would forgive me for reading a note meant for someone else. The treasure hidden deep in your heart. She was the wisest person I knew, how she could see what even her granddaughter didn't know about herself. I wished for the tenth time I had showed more patience to Miss Lempin. But at least...I stood up straight. At least I could find the will for her. I felt sure that the final step was to find the book that went with this title page. There were two places it could be. One was Miss Lempin's house, and the other...I had a suspicion it was there.

tiredly posting :D

2006-04-21T19:13:00.000-06:00

Tired...very very tired...but I really oughta post eh? Yesterday was my last day of homeschool group, and I mean LAST. The regular homeschool group, that is. The highschool group has two more weeks...but the regular group is more important to me. After all, I was in it for ten years, and then I helped out in it for four years, this year being the last. I can't believe it...

Well my brain is mush so I'll post more of my story. I really have mixed feelings about this one...it's really not my usual style I don't think but ya. Read if you wish! :D

The carriage house was as old-looking as The Market had been. I entered and looked around, but I didn’t start searching; I was waiting for Miss Lempin to finish changing her clothing and come out to help. A row of stalls on my right held no horses, indicating they were out grazing, of which I felt glad. Horses aren’t meant to be shut up in dark stalls all day. Racks held proper-looking English-style saddles, while others held blankets or halters. In front of me was a buggy with large wheels and a leather cover that could be pulled up to shelter its passengers from sun and rain. It gleamed shiny and black and new.
I headed toward the back of the carriage house through a silence so thick I could almost touch it. The back of the building was obviously not as well-kept as the front section. A couple shuttered windows let only little slivers of light into the darkness. I quickly opened the shutters, brushing off the spiders that landed on my hands and arms. Warm, golden sunlight streamed in, its rays easily visible because of the dust filling the air. A scuttling sound made me turn, and I found myself facing an old farmer’s cart with one rotted wheel. My heart jumped.
“Boy?” It was Miss Lempin. A small flash of white under the cart caught my eye, and I bent down to see what it was.
As Miss Lempin came closer, sneezing a few times, I stood again, grinning and holding up what I had found. “Well, I don’t think you need to be worryin’ about mice, Miss.” The white kitten in my hands gave a squeaky meow, and its brothers and sisters below the cart answered. A louder meow let me know that the mother didn’t appreciate her children being snatched from her, so I ducked under the cart to return the tiny delicate creature.
“Hey…” Being under the cart gave me an idea. If I wanted to hide a clue somewhere on or in a cart, I would carve it into the underside. I backed out rapidly and got to my feet, starting when I came face to face with a lighted candle. Perfect. Without a word I took it from Miss Lempin and crawled under the cart.
Ugh. Sticky spiderwebs caught on my face as I scooted in next to the litter of kittens. There were dozens of webs of all shapes and sizes, some old and dust-covered, some taut and shimmering with newness. I brushed them away to look at the wood. My gaze snagged on something, on a letter cut in the underside. R. I cleared away more webs until I could read the entire message:
CLUE FOUR: TORN PAGE
I grinned again, but the smile faded from my face as quickly as it had come. The other clues hadn’t been too difficult, but this? I got out from under the cart and rose to my feet again.
“Well? Any luck?” Miss Lempin’s toe was tapping again.
“The fourth clue is ‘torn page.’ ” I shrugged. “Guess we’ll just have to look through her papers and things. Did she have a study?”
Miss Lempin led me into the house. It was richly decorated, with mahogany furniture and a small but ornate chandelier in the entry hall. “Don’t get dirt on anything,” Miss Lempin warned as we ascended the staircase. Upstairs, we entered a medium-sized room with a beautiful oak desk and a few bookcases. Large windows let in light after Miss Lempin pushed aside the heavy white damask draperies.
I stood still, frozen in place. This was her study… It was strange, seeing the house where Mrs. Everworthy had lived, a part of her life I had hardly known existed. I let my gaze travel around the room, taking in the details, the neat rows of books, the little glass figurines that graced the shelves—it wasn’t hard to guess who had made those—and a lovely collection of pressed wildflowers, framed and hung on the wall. They were familiar…I remembered helping Mrs. Everworthy pick them, remembered accidentally walking through poison ivy, remembered the soft cool touch of her hands as she put ointment on my feet, despite my protests. My eyes stung.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Miss Lempin had opened some drawers in the desk and was already searching. She glared at me when I turned. “Come on and help!”
I swallowed my anger. Must she be so cross and bad-tempered? Taking a bunch of whispery thin papers, I began looking. I’m only doing this for you, Mrs. Everworthy.
If I described to you all the pages we looked at, all the drawers we opened and closed, you would be asleep in five minutes. Time dragged on as we searched and searched and searched. Finally we had to stop in defeat. I leaned against a bookcase, worn out, as Miss Lempin let her shoulders sag where she sat in Mrs. Everworthy’s desk chair. “It’s got to be somewhere.” Her voice took on a whine. “I don’t understand why she did this.” She looked in my direction. “Surely you must have some idea where to find it.”
My temper rose again. “You’d know better’n me, miss. She was your grandmother.”
Her eyes flashed a little, proving I wasn’t the only one with a temper. “Well, I think she would be disappointed in you if she saw the way you were giving up on her mystery!”
The words brought an unexpected stab of hurt. What she thinks doesn’t matter, I tried to convince myself, but instead a sharp retort leapt from my lips. “The way I’m givin’ up? She meant the mystery to be for you, and here you are complainin’ and frownin’ like a spoiled child! What do you think she’d think of that?”
The minute the words left me guilt filled my heart. Miss Lempin’s mouth was open in shock as she stared at me. My words tumbled over one another as I tried to make amends. “I-I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean, I didn’t mean—”
She cut me off when she stood and strode to the door, opening it wide. “I won’t be wanting your help anymore. Now leave.”
I walked through the door, but stopped before going downstairs. “Please—”
“Leave!” Her face was red, and when I glanced at her eyes, I saw, beneath the anger, pain.
I fled.

part two and a wallpaper

2006-04-11T18:33:00.000-06:00

We just stood and looked for a minute at all the vendors, all the carts full of tomatoes and squash and cucumbers, blankets and sweaters and mittens, everything I expected to see and then some. Where on earth do we look? The two of us began to walk through the market, keeping a good distance from each other. Cookman’s Livery. Anderson’s Tavern. Walker’s General Store. MacKenzie’s Glass and Woodworks. All the familiar stores lined the road in a neat row. Suddenly I stopped short and examined MacKenzie’s. Could it be? Partially visible behind the new-looking sign was faded gray lettering that read The Market.
“The Market,” I whispered, a smile breaking over my face. Quickly I headed through the weather-beaten door with Miss Lempin on my heels, wanting to know what was going on. Behind the counter stood a middle-aged man carving a bric-a-brac. I walked up to the counter, wishing I were taller as he looked down at me. “If you please, sir, there’s somethin’ I need to know.” I wasn’t exactly sure where to begin.
“Yes?” He waited for me to continue.
“Did…Mrs. Everworthy talk to you about…clues?” I licked my lips nervously, aware of how unusual the question was. As his eyebrows lifted, I continued. “I’m lookin’ for something she hid somewhere, and the clue I have is ‘market.’ Did she give you the next clue?”
The man looked at me for a minute, a hint of a smile on his lips, before shifting his eyes back to his work. “No, but you might ask my father.” He gestured with his head toward a doorway leading to the back of the shop as his hands skillfully worked at a heart-shaped hole in the wooden set of shelves he was making. “He’d know about something like that better than me.”
“Thankee kindly.” I nodded and walked into the other room, my feet making soft scuffing sounds on the time-worn floor. Standing in front of a table covered with tools was a white-whiskered old man. His dark blue eyes were fixed up his work as he shaped a little glass figure. I stepped forward slowly, in awe of the beautiful little work of art he was creating; to me, it looked like magic. Even when Miss Lempin’s leather-booted toe began tapping, I didn’t interrupt the man, not wanting to do anything to ruin his work. Finally he looked up, his sharp gaze softened only by the crow’s feet fanning out from the corners of his eyes.
“What can I help ye with, laddie?”
At least he didn’t call me wee laddie. “We’re lookin’ for something Mrs. Everworthy hid somewhere. She left clues…and the last one was ‘market,’ so I wondered if you knew the next clue?”
The man fingered his mustache, his gaze shifting to the wall behind us as a gentle smile slipped over his face. “Ahh…so she did do it after all. Dear Rachel.” His eyes were slightly damp as he met my gaze again. “The clue she asked me to give her granddaughter is ‘cart.’ ” His eyes shifted to Miss Lempin. “You’re the lassie, then? How auld are ye noo?”
Miss Lempin took a couple steps forward, looking ill at ease, and replied, “I am eighteen.” She cleared her throat. “Thank you very much for your help, Mr…”
“MacKenzie.” I saw that his sapphire eyes were twinkling.
“MacKenzie…and now we really must be going—”
“Have you any idea what cart we’re to search for to find the next clue?” I asked. Or the will, whichever comes next.
Mr. MacKenzie shook his head. “I couldna tell ye.” Picking up his tools, he began to work again.
“Well, what are we to do, search all the carts in the entire market?” mumbled Miss Lempin on her way to the outside door, obviously aggravated.
I walked slowly, thinking hard. It could be in one of those carts, but I suspected it was a particular cart Mrs. Everworthy had in mind. In that second I remembered something. “Miss Lempin?”
She angled her head to look down her nose at me.
“The home where you live—where Mrs. Everworthy used to live with you—it’s new, but the carriage house…” I grinned. “The carriage house is old. Been there for years. Full of stuff, too, according to your grandmother herself.”
Her long nose wrinkled as she realized what I thought should be our next step. “Full of dust and dirt and mice, too, I’m sure,” she gave answer in a low voice as her heels clacked briskly on their way to the door. “It’s a good thing I have you to search it for me.”
“Not so fast, lassie.” Mr. MacKenzie’s voice from behind us startled both of us. His large frame filled the doorway to the back room. “Your grandmother, rest her soul, wanted you to search for her will. Not hire someone else to do it for you. Oh, but she wouldna mind this fine lad helpin’, I’m sure, so long as ye work as a team. See ye do that, noo.” A team…I looked at the young lady’s shocked face and groaned inside. “We’ll do that, sir.” I’m almost sure he gave me a sympathetic wink as I left in Miss Lempin’s wake.
~~~~~~~~~~

(click to enlarge; credit here)
I recently made this rather unusual wallpaper using pictures from seven different movies/TV shows. In the upper left corner is Opal from Because of Winn-Dixie; the guy with the raised eyebrows is Dr. Bashir from Star Trek DS9; the pic of the hand cupping the water is from Tuck Everlasting; the girl sleeping is Wendy from Peter Pan; the boy kneeling on the bridge is Walter from Secondhand Lions; the people kissing are Mr. Darcy and Lizzie from Pride and Prejudice; and the boy in the lower left corner is Sandy from Flipper. All represent some aspect of dreams, or some circumstance involving dreams. Different stories, yet all involve dreams...

part one

2006-04-07T19:35:00.000-06:00

...of something I had to do for writing class. We were told to write a story which used the following words and phrases: little boy, torn page, market, and cart. So here's the first part of my story...I'll post more later...

“Little boy!”
I gritted my teeth. I may be a midget, but that doesn’t give people license to treat me like a child. After all, I’m almost thirteen. But they see my size—which is that of an eight-year-old—and don’t bother to look any farther. All over the market I hear people refer to me as the “little boy.” Or “wee laddie,” depending on their ancestry.
“Little boy?”
I turned, lifting my chin as I faced a middle-aged shopkeeper’s wife. A little smile played at the corners of her mouth as she gestured down the street and said, “There’s a wealthy miss lookin’ for ye down that-a-way. Ye’d best go see what she’s wantin’, eh?”
A wealthy miss? The idea was laughable. What would a rich young lady want with a dirty street boy like me? I didn’t much like the idea of meeting her, either, whoever she was. I dragged my bare feet as I headed toward the town square. There she was, pretty as a picture in a violet satin gown that trailed on the dusty boardwalk. Her porcelain-white face was framed by perfectly shaped gold sausage curls and a stylish bonnet. Everything about her attire was pristinely clean, from the white lace bow that quivered under her chin to the immaculate white gloves on her slender hands. All my instincts told me to turn and run. I’m still not sure why I didn’t.
When she spotted me, she spoke in an overly-sweet tone. “Little boy?”
The condescending smile she bestowed on me grated on me. “Beggin’ your pardon, miss, but I ain’t a ‘little boy.’ I’m twelve.” I looked her in the eye.
Annoyance sparked in her brown doe eyes, even when she tried to bury it under that fake politeness again. “Excuse me…young man. I have a question for you.”
I jerked my head and waited.
She tilted her head gracefully. “Were you acquainted with my grandmother, Mrs. Rachel Everworthy?”
An easy enough question. Mrs. Everworthy had been the kind of lady that befriended everyone—proper adults, spindly-legged teenagers, lisping toddlers…even me. When she had gone out to her little cabin in the woods to sketch and think—she called it her “nature studio”—I would find her there, watching a chickadee build a nest or drawing an iris. She had me catch bugs and things for her, and then we would talk.
“Well?”
She had been everything her granddaughter was not. Easygoing, gentle, caring but not overbearing. It never bothered her that I said “ain’t”; she never judged me because I sometimes slipped up and swore no matter how hard I tried to not use the language I heard on the street.
“I knew her.” I kept my voice from betraying my feelings, but I had to look away.
She dabbed daintily at the sweat on her forehead with a white lace hanky before speaking again. “As you may know, she recently passed away. Since I am her only heir, I will receive the full measure of her property, but first…” It was her turn to look away. “First, I must locate the will. She…for some reason, she seems to have hid it. She told me ‘little boy’ was ‘the first clue,’ so…surely you know something about this?”
I hated having to look way up at her from my position down on the street. I clambered up onto the boardwalk. There, that was better, even if she did still tower over me. “The second clue is ‘market.’ ”
Her lips parted as she frowned in confusion. “ ‘Market?’ ”
I nodded, unable to keep a smug smile from lifting a corner of my mouth. “That’s it.” Turning, I tipped my hat. “Good day, ma’am.”
“Wait!”
I looked back in her direction.
“I…I will pay you if you will assist me in finding the will.” It was obvious it hurt her pride to be asking for my help from the way she focused her gaze on my chin rather than my eyes.
I knew nothing could be worse then working with such a snob…but, what else could I do? If her grandmother had been standing there…before I could change my mind, I said all at once, “All right. You pay me a dollar now and a dollar when we find it and I’ll do my best. Deal, miss…?” Realizing I didn’t know her name, I let my sentence trail off. I didn’t offer my hand; I didn’t care to touch her starched white glove any more then she wanted to touch my dirty, calloused palm.
Finally she met my eyes again, one eyebrow lifted. “I suppose. And it’s Miss Lempin.”

this stood out to me...

2006-04-06T18:45:00.000-06:00

"You don't like the notion that this sickness is God's plan for my life? It is, you know."

Piper squirmed on the cushion and took a pillow into her lap. "Oh yes, I know it's His plan, but no, I don't like it."

"Me neither. But fortunately, God doesn't ask our opinions on such things. He's smart that way."

"How so?"

"Because if He asked us, we'd always shy away from the struggles, the trials, and the heartache. We'd always choose the sunshine and the easy path."

Piper shrugged.

"Don't shrug at me. You know I'm right, and you know it's an important concept. We gain our greatest education through struggles. We learn more in the darkness than in the light because we are forced to trust without evidence. Trust that He knows best."

"I'd like to argue with Him in this particular case."

Wanda flipped a hand. "Then do it. Argue. You think God can't handle our debate? Do you think He's going to abandon us because we doubt, disagree, or even get mad?"

"But don't doubt and debate show our lack of faith?"

"If they pull us away from Him, sure. But if we feel those very human things and take them to Him, they show the very essence of our faith."

--'Round the Corner, by Vonette Bright and Nancy Moser

more bits and pieces of art

2006-04-02T18:02:00.000-06:00

Think I'll post some more avvies :D
Since y'all liked the other pro-life one so much, here's another I made. I just love the tiny little lips and nose...slightly unusual pic I know, but I love it.

Good old Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast! I found a great site with TONS of B&B screencaps and I've been going nuts with them. This is probably my best B&B avvie. Isn't Lumiere hilarious?

One of my favorite Star Trek characters (and also the one with the best face for an avvie...the others are more difficult :D). His name is Dr. Bashir and the pic is from a part when he defies an evil guy. I like Bashir because he's an unusually compassionate character.

Hahaha, this picture of Gaston from B&B cracked me up, I just had to make an avvie of it. It reads "is there something stuck in my teeth?" :D

Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice, with a quote from the Cottars song Ready for the Storm. It just seemed to fit.

Here's some banners too...

^The Beast, from B&B ofcourse. I love this part. :D

^Beautiful Lucy. Narnia comes out in TWO DAYS!!!! *goes nuts with excitement*

^Last of all, Peter Pan shyly taking Wendy's hand. That's such a beautiful scene...it's the one I got my old blog music from.

Credit here.

NOTE: I had password trouble on Hello so I had to get a new account...so if you were on my old list you should be getting an invite from me and if you don't could you please send me one (at katelibbybree@myway.com) so I have you on my list. Thank you a heap!!!!! :D

2006-03-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

Tumnus weeps softly but heartbrokenly...all is lost for him. If he does what the Witch expects of him, this darling, innocent little girl will die at her hand. If he helps the girl, the Witch will kill him in her place. The weight of betrayal, of plastic smiles and empty kindness, bends his shoulders as the tears stream from his eyes. Where can he turn for restoration?

I see him and I think, that's me. Not that I've tried to kidnap anyone...no, I mean, there's a heavy choice. Not a one-time choice either. Something I've got to decide, and decide, and decide again and again. I can take the easy route, fit in, look out for number one, protect myself. Or I can take the other path, the path that will take sacrifice and will involve pain, but will in the end bring the greatest joy and happiness. I don't have the courage to do this. I need to let God give it to me.

It's been a long week...strep throat, botany homework, two upcoming plays (one today, one yet to come), and a writing assignment have just plain wiped me out. I just want to rest peacefully. When I'm so tired there's the old emotional rollercoaster and all...which is just annoying. But God is faithful. That's one thing I can count on. This post is so emotional I'm tempted to just delete it...but I won't.

Reality comes rushing back suddenly. His legs fail him and he starts to fall but someone catches him...a small but strong someone. He slowly pulls back to look at the face. It is her...alive and well and happy. He embraces her, joy sweeping over him. This is his reward, at last! And then as he looks up Tumnus sees the golden shimmering Lion. And he knows...it's all because of Him.

artwork!!

2006-03-26T17:30:00.000-07:00

Yay, my computer finally has internet!! so hopefully I will be on more. So what's up...well I'm in a skit this week and I've got strep throat...great timing eh? But it's not as bad as it could be. Also Narnia comes out in NIIINE DAAAYS!!!!!!!! Can't WAIT! :D Hm I think I shall try to post some artwork that I've been wanting to post. Avvies (avatars, the little square thingys people use on AIM and LiveJournal) are quicker then wallpapers which is handy as my schedule gets busier. They're reeally fun to make too! So here's some avvies...

from Pride and Prejudice...AHH I love that scene...

from The Polar Express...isn't it a stunning picture of an eye? and it's computer animated...

from Viking Quest...it reads "Mikkel" in faint letters and then "lonely sailor" (a quote from a Cottars song) in bolder lettering...

a pro-life one...

and three Narnia ones, which for some reason I can't get to be side by side...Lucy hugging Edmund (it reads "lu and me"); Aslan's eye, all rainbowy; and Peter facing Maugrim (reads "give me courage").

Annnd here's a wallpaper I made today too. It reads:
"I could have never saved myself
I stared into the face of death
When, suddenly, there came a rush
Of roar and mane and lion's breath."

Whew this post took awhile...Blogger doesn't like me posting my pics. *wipes forehead* (Credit here btw.) Well ta-ta for now, hope to post again soon! :D

finally posting!! :D

2006-03-13T15:12:00.000-07:00

Hi folks, it's been waaay too long! I'm busier than I'd like to be...but hopefully soon I'll be spending more time on the blogdom. I miss y'all.

So what's been happening. I saw Pride and Prejudice, FINALLY!! It is so amazing!! I can't believe how beautifully it was filmed! The shots...I was just in awe, repeatedly. And it was soo sweet...sigh. :D AND Narnia comes out only three weeks from tomorrow!!!! *BOUNCE BOUNCE* AH I can't wait!

Oh and I got my own computer, for the first time! Yay! I like it a lot, and it's really awesome to be able to do my art on it, cause now I don't have to wait for the family computer to be free! I hope Dad puts internet on it soon so I can blog from it, that'll be awesome. It's a weird feeling, though, having my own computer. There's a sort of loneliness to it...but I'm getting used to it. To be honest though, college has been stressing me out. I hate not knowing every detail about it, hate thinking about how quiet I am and how the other students will probably take it to be rudeness or unfriendlyness. Last Sunday we had a reeaally good sermon which made me realized how much I've been letting slip. The main thing I realized was... I need to fight becoming worldly. I can't give in, no matter how strong the influence is. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2) It frightens me to think of how much I've been conforming. It's not like I've been doing anything EVIL, you know? but even giving in a little tiny bit can be dangerous at times, especially as the little bits stack up. I want to be strong but I'm afraid I'm terribly weak... And trying to remember that God is my strength. I love the book of Psalms, it's amazing to see how David just totally leaned on God and talked to Him honestly. I am so glad it's not up to me, know what I mean? That God is faithful no matter what. I don't have to be supergirl, not even when I go to college and everyone's expecting a million things of me. There's that verse about fixing our eyes on Jesus... maybe that's what I need to remember most of all.

Whoa that paragraph was long. :D I want to post some avvies (avatars) and siggies (little banners) I've been making....but argh! Blogger won't let me >:(. Maybe I'll add to this post later if I can. Bye all!

a handful of rainbows

2006-02-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

So God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth."

Genesis 9:12-17

4: my favorite number!

2006-02-20T16:36:00.000-07:00

Four Jobs I Have Had
(I've never had a job so I'll list chores I have, like Mosey. :D)
- feeding the kitties
- washing off the table
- emptying half the dishwasher
- folding every other basket of clean towels

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over
- NARNIA NARNIA NARNIA
- Peter Pan (2003)
- The Truman Show
- Beauty and the Beast (dorky though it may be)

Four Books I Could Read Over and Over
- The Chronicles of Narnia, by C. S. Lewis
- The Viking Quest series!!!!, by Lois Walfrid Johnson
- The Promise of Zion series, by Robert Elmer
- Song of a Soul, by Lawana Blackwell

Four Places I Have Lived
- beautiful gorgeous hilly forested lovelyful PENNSYLVANIA. Ever since I was born. :D
- but I suppose if you count when I was in Mom's tummy, I've lived in New Jersey too

Four TV Shows I Watch
- Phil of the Future
- Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
- Star Trek: Voyager
- Star Trek: The Next Generation (against my will ;) )

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation
- Canada (woot!)
- California
- England
- Virginia

Four Websites I Visit Daily
- My blog
- NarniaWeb.com
- and usually at least one other blog...

Four Favorite Foods
- homemade chicken pot pie
- snickerdoodles
- pizza from Olive Garden
- blondie whoopie-pies

Four Places I'd Like To Be Right Now
- Narnia
- Ireland
- my imaginary land, Breehlan
- Sequioa(sp?), California

...And that about does it. I put the links in there just for fun... :D And so many people have been tagged already that I'll just say: tag yourself if you want to. :)

on my bureau

2006-02-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

Well I've been tagged by Mosey!

What's On Your Desk Right Now?
(um well I don't have a desk so I'll do my bureau, okay?)

-a page-a-day Ireland calendar
-a Thomas Kinkade page-a-month mousepad calendar
-an ordinary calendar, of Cicely Mary Barker's flower fairies (yes, I know, I have a lot of calendars! :D)
-a little stuffed animal frog called Croaky
-a little stuffed animal kitten called Katherine Elizabeth
-a Scripture Keeper shaped like a tiny piano
-little flower fairies I made from this Klutz kit
-a book of C. S. Lewis quotes
-a little plaque with Matthew 7:7 on it
-a little lock and key (to go with the plaque)
-a beautiful rock that has green in it and it sparkles and shimmers
-an ordinary rough gravel-type-rock and a smooth white rock: these are from a youth group sermon last summer in which the leader talked about how to let the Holy Spirit smooth away our roughness the way a river smooths a rock. The leader gave us each one of each, so we would remember the lesson.
-a vanilla scented candle in a beautiful glass holder with pansies painted on it
-Narnia chapstick
-scrunchy and ponytail holders
-gold-colored angel pin

I tag Lysha, Aslan, Anya, and Obi-Wan.

The four

2006-02-07T18:25:00.000-07:00

William Moseley
Peter Pevensie

"Doug Gresham recognized it the first time he saw William in a casting tape. He called it "a strength of character." ...Enduring endless callbacks, workshops, and sessions with coaches before getting the part, William not only persevered but rose to the top."
~Perry Moore

Anna Popplewell
Susan Pevensie

"You could pop into Anna's trailer between scenes under the auspices of checking in on her, making sure she's doing okay, and moments later, she'd have you sitting down with a warm cup of tea discussing how you are doing."
~Perry Moore

Skandar Keynes
Edmund Pevensie

"Once the movie got rolling, it didn't take long for the youngster's less serious side to make itself known. He'd sneak up behind producer Phil Steuer and poke him at the beginning of every day on set. We'd see Phil...jump a mile up out of his seat, and that's how we'd know the day had started."
~Perry Moore

Georgie Henley
Lucy Pevensie

"She has energy the likes of which I've never seen in my life. It's as if the sun had exploded and all the energy had been put in her tiny little body."
~James McAvoy, Mr. Tumnus

All quotes are from the awesome book The Official Illustrated Movie Companion. All pictures are from thePhotoBox.

Narnia and Trek

2006-01-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

Well hi everyone! I've made three more wallpapers in the style of the Lucy one below, so let me show them to you. I also made avatars for them but they're really not that good. :D I...haven't mastered the art yet. But maybe I'll post 'em later.

Here they are; click to enlarge:

Edmund, whoohoo! Ed's always been one of my favorites. He's so noble after Aslan redeems him.

And Susan...I like the part the picture is from. Isn't it a pretty picture, too, with the river in the background and all? It's my favorite of her.

Last but most certainly not least, Peter! This is the most amazing picture, I love it. The costume details...are gorgeous.

(Photo and brush credits for all three are found here.)

So what else is happening...well, my siblings have declared me to officially be a Trekkie! If you don't know what that is, a Trekkie is another name for a fan of the Star Trek TV shows. Actually I really only like two of the five series there are, Deep Space Nine and Voyager. I like them mainly because they're exciting and interesting and have nobility in them. I like how the captain in Voyager, Kathryn Janeway, has a compassionate heart. She's a very strong person--not at all wimpy--but she shows compassion, even to strange aliens.

There's this group of beings called the Borg. They're all humanoid, I think, (meaning either human or similar to humans) and they've basically been converted into a huge group of robots, working together as a unit. Each person has thousands of tiny implants that control their actions and enable them to hear the voices of all the other Borg, including the top Borg, the Borg Queen (she forces them to do what she wants).

Anyway, Voyager, the starship that the series is about, has been transported a huge distance from home, so far that it will take them seventy years at top speed to get home. There, out in the uncharted parts of the galaxy, they meet the Borg, who are intent on assimilating them (intent on converting THEM into Borg!). So they battle them and afterwards end up with only one Borg left on their ship, a female human called Seven of Nine. Her link to the other Borg is broken, so she's stranded on Voyager. Captain Janeway knows she can't risk her crew by going back and returning Seven of Nine to the Borg, so she decides that Seven of Nine will live on Voyager. Seven really struggles with having to make her own choices again--at first she doesn't understand why, if humans believe in freedom to choose, Janeway won't let her return to the Borg, or at least drop her off on a planet where she could wait to be picked up by them. I don't think that anyone but Janeway could have helped Seven cope with the changes. Seven's extremely stubborn, scared, and angry, but Janeway's equally stubborn, and in the end, Seven's human-ness begins to come out again, bit by little bit.

Whew it takes ages to explain anything from Star Trek--it's really its own world! Hope I didn't lose you along the way, I'm not good at explaining it all. I didn't use to like it...but I've come to admire the courage and compassion shown in Deep Space Nine and Voyager. It gives me courage in thinking about my future.

Speaking of courage, if you didn't read my Viking Quest post (two posts down now), please do! I love this series...erm, as I'm sure you don't already know. :D Sigh...the new book is just so unbelievably amazing. Practically everything readers have been wanting to happen since book one happens in this book. Part of me still can't believe it. :D

Well good night all, I must go watch Deep Space Nine! :D Perhaps I shall post some screencaps later, I'll be getting some so I can make wallpapers for Obi-wan. Ta ta!

P.S. The new music is from the Narnia soundtrack, from the track called The Wardrobe.

art and new blog music

2006-01-19T18:09:00.000-07:00

I feel like blogging again already. But take a peek at my last post too, it's about a series that's very close to my heart. I HIGHLY recommend it.

Here's a wallpaper I made the other day--tell me what you think of it, I used a new tool in making it.

(Click to enlarge)

And then I made an avatar to match, which was cool because it's my first time to make one!

(Photo and brush credits for both are found here.)

I'm listening to the Narnia soundtrack right now and it's so awesome. I love it... it makes me proud to be Narnian. Speaking of which, that's what my new blog music is from! It's a sample of the track called Evacuating London. I plan to try out other music clips from the soundtrack too, leaving each on my blog for maybe a week or so.

Look at this splendid wallpaper (the one submitted by "Scottie521"). I really want to join NarniaWeb this summer when I have more time. It'd be so fun to share my wallpapers with other Narnia fan artists. I like putting them on my blog, but that's not its sole purpose, you know? So I only end up posting a few of the ones I'm excited to show someone. Right now I'm excited about trying my hand at more avatars and signatures(100x300 size banners). I didn't use to like challenges when it came to computer art but now I do... and avatars and signatures are certainly that! They're so small and I know nothing about making them.

Well I'd better go, Dad wants to check email and stuff. Bye!

the journey ends

2006-01-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

...Her wish to know the world beyond Ireland was a longing that wouldn't go away. What would it be like to see faraway lands?

Still watching the sea, Bree felt the dream of adventure. Then a whisper of fear crept into her thoughts. Would I have the courage I'd need?

~Raiders from the Sea

The stories of heroic deeds filled Devin with courage. Always the Irish had been brave fighters. Hadn't Devin himself learned the words of Cormac MacArt, a high king of Ireland? "I was fierce in the battlefield," he told his son. "I was gentle in friendship."

...Listening to their stories, Devin thought of his last words to his sister. "Courage to win, Bree. Courage to win."

~Mystery of the Silver Coins

"I hate what I have become!" she whispered in her anger... "How can I have the courage to win when I hate every part of my life?"

...And then, standing there in the darkness, Bree sensed the small inner voice she knew well. Like a nudge it came, as though she knew words without hearing them with her ears.

How can you be a light if there is no darkness?

~The Invisible Friend

"...If this ship goes down...it's my fault. I brought all of you here. I can't carry the thought of what might happen to your families. Can your God carry me?"

Devin grinned. "He likes to do that sort of thing."

~Heart of Courage

What can I say about this book, The Raider's Promise? I can't quote it without either giving away a wonderful part of it or failing to do it justice. This book is as rich as cheesecake to me, so full of descriptions and characters and words and long-awaited events and courage that's it's almost too much to take in. I love it so much.

So I won't try to give some wonderful summary, won't try to define what these books have done in me. Little by little these characters crept into my heart and then my life. They've suddenly appeared by my side when I was facing some really tough situations, reminding me about having courage to win. It's easier to not live with courage, and I'm still lacking courage in many, many ways. Yet I can't forget these stories and their very real message. I hope I never will, because I believe it's something every young person needs to have put in their heart, one way or another. Tusen takk, Lois Walfrid Johnson, a thousand thanks.

just dreaming...?

2006-01-12T20:45:00.000-07:00

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon. I had been on the computer for nearly two hours, trying to get a piece of artwork to look just right. Over that time I’d gone through all my favorite CDs: the soundtrack for the new Narnia movie, The Cottars On Fire, music inspired by Narnia, Celtic Experience, and the Peter Pan soundtrack. Now I was back to the Narnia soundtrack. As I fiddled with brushes on Jasc Paintshop Pro, I found myself getting sleepy. (No, I was not, at the moment, on the music track “A Narnia Lullaby.”) I put my head in my arms and I guess I must have drifted off for a minute. The next thing I knew, I was tasting something sweet. As consciousness returned to me, I realized it was a single droplet of liquid that I tasted. Instinctively I licked my lips and opened my eyes. They almost popped out of my head when I saw the face staring down at me.

It wasn’t as though the face was at all frightening. On the contrary, this girl’s face was the sweetest, kindest, most caring face I’d seen in a long time. My shock came from who the girl was…Lucy Pevensie.

Before I could say a word, another face appeared. It was Susan Pevensie, Lucy’s older sister. With a gentle smile curving her lips, she reached down a hand to help me up.

“Wh-wh-wha…?” I stuttered stupidly as they helped me to my feet. Was I hallucinating or was I really in the little valley where the battle for Narnia had been fought? Chariot Run Gully, I remembered.

“The battle’s over,” Lucy offered helpfully, misunderstanding my confusion. “Aslan has won.”

Yes, I was in Chariot Run Gully, all right. I was in Narnia. How else could I explain the two girls in dresses and capes who were now going from person to wounded person, attending to them. There was no doubt that the sweet liquid, the taste of which still lingered in my mouth, was Lucy’s cordial. And how else could I explain the two boys—young men they looked to be—several yards away? Peter, clad in chain-mail and a red tunic with a gold lion, helped Edmund, similarly dressed, to his feet.

There was someone, however, who did not fit into the scene. Up on the edge of the gully showed the figure of a man. He was getting on in years, and was short, balding, and rather fat. The strangest thing about him, though, was his color, or lack thereof. It was as though he’d stepped out of an old movie—his hair, eyes, skin, and clothing were all colorless, except for a sepia tint.

Stepping from ledge to ledge, I climbed up onto the ridge and walked closer. I must have looked pretty overwhelmed and discombobulated, because when he turned and looked and me, he chuckled and said, “I suppose you’re wondering how you got here.”

“Y-yes, sir. And…who are you?”

His eyes twinkled. “I’m sure you already know the answer to that question, but I’ll tell you anyway.” He eased himself onto a large rock. “I’m Professor C. S. Lewis.”

“Why…” I had so many questions that I didn’t know where to start. “Why do you look like that?” I blurted.

“Oh, you mean the black-and-white?” he asked, looking down at his rumpled suit. “Don’t you see, my dear girl? This is all in your imagination! The reason I’m not in color is, well, you’ve never imagined me that way.” He chuckled again as he pulled a bit of newspaper out of his pocket. “Anyway, this paper says I died, so you see, this can’t be real.”

His keen eyes watched my face as I took in what he said. “I’m most sorry to disappoint you.” He slipped the newspaper back into his pocket and pulled out his pipe. “But you know, what exists only in the imagination can at times make a bigger difference than any reality can.”

“Yes.” I too sat down. Out of shyness I hesitated, but I couldn’t hold back my reply; it came from my heart. “That must be true...because your stories, the Narnia Chronicles, have…well, they’ve helped to make me who I am today.” I fiddled with a piece of grass as I wondered how to express myself. “Narnia helped me to value beauty and nobility. It taught me to love what’s to come, to…to long and look for more than what’s right in front of my nose.” Down on the battlefield, Edmund was on his knees before Aslan, being knighted.

Lewis nodded in understanding. As Edmund was rising to his feet, Lewis began to tell me about his conversion to Christianity, and how mythical stories had played a part in it. His British-accent-flavored voice rose and fell amid the sounds of centaurs’ hooves and gryphons’ echoing cries. Presently the Narnians began to march back to camp, and Lewis and I climbed down and joined them. As we walked across the grassy land, Lewis fell silent. A few minutes passed, and then I turned to say something to him.

He was gone.

I looked around in surprise, but Lewis was nowhere to be seen. Even as I searched, the group of fauns trooping along beside me vanished, one by one. In the same manner, the entire army disappeared in a mere few seconds, until only Aslan, the four children, and I were following the path to the camp.

Desperately I dashed forward, then stopped short. If I came closer, would the whole dream dissolve around me?

Lucy heard my footsteps and looked back. A smile brightened her pixie-ish face, and I felt tears rise to my eyes. I wish I were more like that little girl.

Edmund noticed what his sister was doing and stopped to swivel around too. He too smiled, his battle-weary face transformed by the light in his eyes. Redeemed, I thought. I may not have Lucy’s child-like faith yet, but I am redeemed, just like Edmund. Automatically my eyes turned toward the Redeemer.

As Peter and Susan also glanced in my direction, Aslan’s huge, shaggy head turned slowly. I was holding my breath. His gaze fell upon me…and in that second, like with Shasta in The Horse and His Boy, he disappeared completely. And not only him, but now the children and the entire stunning landscape faded away.

I jerked upright. Around me, the living room was as silent as could be; I was at home, the only one in the house.

To my surprise, I didn’t feel disappointment wash over me. I was strangely warm and full, like I’d just drunk a mug of hot chocolate. As I turned off the computer and went to feed my hungry cat, Lewis’s words still echoed in my mind: “What exists only in your imagination can at times make a bigger difference than any reality can…”

POLL

2006-01-05T20:15:00.000-07:00

Do you get bored of music when someone has it on their blog for awhile? Does it lose its beauty to you? Because I'm trying to decide whether to change my blog music to Narnia music--it's been Peter Pan for a year!! But I don't want to ruin the gorgeous Narnia music for anyone... tell me what you think!

Oh and also--you may have noticed my "Narniac Blogger" banner on my sidebar... if anyone wants one, I'll make it for you, just let me know! :)

P.S. For a real post, look below.

Tu ra lu ra lai...

2005-12-29T19:04:00.000-07:00

Time to post! Let's see, a lot has happened in the past two weeks.

A week ago tomorrow, I got all four wisdom teeth extracted. It was reeally nasty, because I decided to be put to sleep, and the anesthesia made me sick. And it was kind of freaky, coming slowly awake and feeling terrible and seeing double for awhile. I'm glad I'll never have to do that again. And that I'm finally beginning to eat mostly normally. Except one corner of my mouth isn't completely healed. But it's getting there. :)

Because I was feeling so dreadful, my mom let me have a Christmas present early: The Cottars On Fire!! I love it soooo much!!! The title of this post is from one of their songs, Reconciliation. Their music is exactly my type. The slow songs are so beautiful and poignant... and the fast songs make me want to jump up and dance. Janelle gave me a link to a video of a Cottars concert and in it one of the boys, Ciaran, says about the jigs, "If your feet aren't tapping to these tunes, there's a very good chance you might be dead." :D I love that quote! And I'm getting excited about their new album, which comes out Jan. 10 (as Janelle already said, lol).

Then there was Christmas, which was so much fun as always. Stockings and candy and books and Narnia stuff and music and games and food...splendid. :) And most importantly, the celebration of what's already happened, Jesus' first coming, and the hope of what's yet to come, Jesus' second coming.

On...Tuesday, I think, I got a letter from Cedarville University, the university I applied to, saying they accepted me. So now I need wisdom to know if it's God's will for me to go there. It seems like just the right place, and the door has opened to me...so I'm praying that God will send me a clear "red light" if that's not His place for me. Because...it really seems like the right place for me. :) So your prayers would be much appreciated.

I'm BURSTING WITH EXCITEMENT, because the fifth and final book in the Viking Quest series comes out on Monday! Whoowhoohoooooo!!!!!! I can hardly contain myself!! There's so much that needs to happen in this book!!!!! And it looks like it's going to be awesome!!!!!!!!

Lately I've been visiting the NarniaWeb Fanart Forum a lot, because I discovered awesome wallpapers on there! Look at this one; isn't it amazing? I love it so much! And I love browsing the wallpapers in this thread (there are 13 pages to the thread :D). It really inspires me in my own wallpaper-making--which I'm having a lot of fun with over break.

Well have a great week and a happy New Year! "May God bless you and send you a happy New Year; may God send you a happy New Year!"

Take a cookie to munch on...

2005-12-24T16:27:00.000-07:00

...while you read the Christmas story.

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us."

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."

When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written:
" 'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.' "

Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

~Matthew 1:18-2:12 NIV (emphasis added)

Merry Christmas!

Narnia

2005-12-14T17:31:00.000-07:00

**SPOILERS--I'm spoiling a big part of the plot line so don't read this unless you've read the book!!**

I just saw the new Narnia movie this afternoon and I want to write about it before the magic of the experience wears off.

CQ and I dressed up as Narnian princesses, and we walked into the theater. I sat down beside her and we waited through the usual annoying previews. Then...it started.

If you'll believe it, I actually wasn't wild about it at first! I mean, I liked it, but I was disappointed by the way the four siblings interacted, and by the way the humor was woven in. But when it came to the Stone Table scene...I was completely won over. I couldn't keep back a tear or two as I watched the great Lion die in shame. And I wanted to burst into sobs when I saw him lying cold, dead, and alone. Ahhh....and after that it only got better, I thought, with the battle and all. Wow.....

Afterwards I wanted to fly and dance and spin and leap for joy. It was such an amazing movie. I strongly urge you to GO SEE IT. :D

The Dream is True

2005-12-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

In three days, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe comes out in theaters.

There are so many conflicting emotions in my heart...because I've invested so much time and energy and thoughts and emotions in my beloved Narnia. And now...the movie's actually coming out. After over a year of watching the counter on NarniaWeb. It's gone from 400 days to 3 days in the blink of an eye, it seems.

My older sister Frodo wrote a little story once--really it was a group of little descriptions--called "The Dream is True." That phrase has just been stuck in my head lately. The dream is true. After loving and imagining Narnia almost all my life...I'm seeing it, as though it were real.

This makes me think of another, bigger dream...one I all too often ignore. Something beyond me and you, beyond the corrupted people of this world, beyond our little twisted minds and hearts, beyond the art and literature and celebrities the world is so proud of. Beyond even Narnia.

His world, the one we'll live in with Him. And in our hearts, complete cleansing. No more sin or worries or fear or pride. Only Him, only the beauty of His presence.

This month, as you (hopefully) gaze awestruck into the wonderful world of Narnia and let its beauty take root in your soul, remember: The dream is true.

Narnia and Viking Quest

2005-11-30T17:25:00.000-07:00

Well hello there y'all!! This won't be much of a post because I am exhausted. I've been working on digitally collecting some of my artwork into a portfolio to send with my college application and it's been quite a lengthy process. We had Thanksgiving last week here in the USA, which was a nice break. Mom makes the most deeelicious sour cream apple pie.

As many of you know, the new Narnia movie comes out a week from this Friday! I can hardly believe it, I've been looking forward to it for over a year and it's like a dream! My beloved Narnia is coming to life...it's amazing. Ahhh...I can't wait. Oh and (IF you don't mind spoilers) you have to look at this picture. I can't get enough of looking at it. It depicts one of my very favorite aspects of the Narnia books, the healed relationship between Edmund and Lucy. I'm almost getting teary-eyed...like I said, I just can't believe it's all coming to life!!

Speaking of excitement...I was overjoyed today to find the book cover online for the newest Viking Quest book, which will come out January 1st. I just love the way the Viking Quest book covers look, including the amazing, almost Celtic-style art. This one shows one of the main characters, Mikkel, standing in front of Glendalough Monastery in Ireland. I really like the way the artist made his hair blowing in the wind, and his shirt is perfect--very much Viking style. And the gorgeous green hills of Ireland, and the ancient monastery, steeped in history...beautiful.

Taken from Thea's blog

2005-11-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. I promise not to come after you with a frying pan either way.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

--> Please read the post below too!!!! I want opinions...constructive criticism...all that good stuff. :D
If you feel like it, also read the post below that, cause it's got NO comments. :'(

The Land of the Watercolor Sky

2005-11-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

Tell me honestly what you think of this poem I wrote, please. I want your opinions. :)

Take my hand and come away
To a land where the sun shines every day
At night, the moon will light our way
In the land of the watercolor sky

There, talking trees grow straight and tall
They speak in riddles, one and all
Their emerald leaves shall never fall
In the land of the watercolor sky

Lush green hills are all around
In winter, snow blankets the ground
In spring, jeweled blossoms can be found
In the land of the watercolor sky

In a huge meadow, horses run
Their glossy coats shimmer in the sun
And if you wish, you may keep one
In the land of the watercolor sky

Now mount your horse, a majestic roan
And ride to my castle of silver stone
Where you may sit upon a throne
In the land of the watercolor sky.

I take a brush I've used before
And on the canvas paint a door
I lock it tight and tell no more
Of the land of the watercolor sky

But if some child should find the key
And open the door, then he would see
The place that will forever be
The land of the watercolor sky.

Copyright 2005 by Entwife/Trufflehunter

Narnia

2005-11-16T20:34:00.000-07:00

Exciting news! There's a new Narnia trailer AND Disney Channel sneak peek now available!!!! And the movie comes out LESS THAN A MONTH FROM NOW!!!! In the US anyway...I looked but couldn't find its release date in Canada, sorry. But GO SEE IT!!!! And remember that all movie companies are watching closely to see if movies with moral values like this will make lots of money. So it's important to send a good message--if, of course, you personally believe it's a good movie. If so, Citizen magazine suggests you even write a letter to Disney telling them what you like about it. Citizen had a good article about moral movies such as what the Narnia movie will (hopefully!) be. (Plus they had a gorgeous big picture of Peter, Edmund, and Susan. :D)

ALSO...samples of the soundtrack are now available online!! YAY!!!! It really sounds neat! Except for the four songs at the end...before judging them I'll have to hear the whole thing, but I must admit I snickered a little at some of them. Of course the songs I'm comparing them to (from the Christian Narnia album) are AWESOME, many of them anyway. By the way, if you're a Narnia lover you should consider getting the Christian Narnia CD. I love it. Sometime I've got to post mini-reviews of all the songs on it.

You have got to look at these amazing digital paintings I found online!! There're by a Christian fantasy artist called Dawn Davidson and they're mostly of scenes from the Chronicles of Narnia and the Chronicles of Prydain (the latter of which I've never read, but I love looking at the pictures anyway!). Here is her Elfwood gallery; you can also visit the site she and her husband run: Dragon Ink Studios.

2005-11-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

Hello folks. I've been neglecting my blog, I know...lots of stuff going on...I'm kind of tired and stressed. So many emotions come with thinking about college and I just get so frustrated. Argh! Too many feelings, too much anger, too much feeling sorry for myself, too much grief, too much selfishness, too much annoyance, too much hating myself, too much despair. I feel like giving up, like saying, "Scratch that and let's start from the beginning." You know what I mean?

If only I could just scratch out all the miserableness from my life. If only I lived in a land of sunshine and perpetual springtime, where all was at peace, where everyone worked and playing energetically and harmoniously, where every word spoken was completely honest, where no one ever felt alone or lonely or abandoned. Grrrr...I'm also sick of feeling so mushy and weak!!! I feel like such a wimp, with all these emotions spilling out every which way! And so selfish too, for forcing people to help me, help me, help me!! I get so mad at myself for that and take it out on others!

So...there's my little rant. I hope it's not wrong of me to say all that...I feel complaining and selfish...but you're my friends and I need to let it out. I must admit it felt rather...good. :) But let me say...if what I've said bothers you...tell me. In fact, if I ever offend you in any way, please come right out and tell me so I know.

Maybe I need to focus on others more...to remember that others go through awful-er things than me...to love them more than me. And I need to strive to love God most. But maybe...maybe first I need to accept myself and love myself. Then I'll be free to love God and others as I ought. A part of one of the Viking Quest books comes to mind...those books have so much wisdom hidden in them... Before I quote it though, I'd better explain the context. Mikkel, a young Viking boy of fifteen, is realizing that he and his oldest brother, Ivar, have always left out their other brother, Cort. Mikkel's wondering if his relationship with Cort can change...and wishing it would.

...Mikkel had to be honest with himself. Maybe I must first be able to respect myself. But how?
Somehow he had managed to hide his darkest secret from his father. But he couldn't hide that secret from himself...
And now Mikkel knew what he needed to do. I'm going to change, he promised himself. But then, deep inside, Mikkel wondered if he really could.
(from The Invisible Friend, by Lois Walfrid Johnson)

Mikkel's problem is that he's not a Christian and his sin--including the dark secret that was mentioned--stands between him and God, the source of peace. He can't be at peace with himself until he's at peace with God. So...it stands to reason that my problem is not trusting God more, since I do ask forgiveness for my sins and the Bible says He does forgive. Easier said than done...but perhaps it all comes back to having the faith of a child. A CHILD, not an adult. I may be becoming an adult, but that doesn't mean I can't have the faith of a child.

in the candlelit chapel

2005-10-27T18:06:00.000-06:00

This afternoon as I was reading a book called The Celebrity, I came across a part which struck me as really neat, and I thought, I should post this! So post it I shall. The book's by Robert Elmer, an amazing writer who's written books for kids, teens, and adults (The Celebrity is written for adults--and btw, it takes place in the present day). One of the main characters in the book is a very famous singer called Jamie D. Lane who's sick of being famous so he's disguised himself and is just sort of hanging out in a small town in the west, I forget what state. At the part I'm quoting, he's staying at a monastery for awhile, and he wakes up at 3:30 A.M. to find all the monks awake and heading for the chapel.

He wasn't quite sure why he still followed, just that he'd come this far, and he supposed he would have to see what they were really doing. By this time he found himself standing behind the circle of brothers in the candlelit chapel. He was going to tell somebody that it was a good thing he left the dog outside, but decided against it. And when they started reading from the Bible, he couldn't be sure who was reading, only that it sounded soft and mystical, like a chant or like music. Even so, he understood the words clearly:

"If I ascend to heaven, thou art there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, thou art there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there thy hand shall lead me,
and thy right hand shall hold me.
If I say, 'Let only darkness cover me,
and the light about me be night,'
even the darkness is not dark to thee,
the night is bright as the day;
for darkness is as light with thee."

And so it went, each monk reading another portion steadily and quietly, as if he meant it. Good for them if they did. And yet he had never heard anything like it, these men breathing in the words as if they had just survived near drowning. Eating the words as if they were passing around the waffles, serving up steaming stacks with maple syrup. All the while the ghostly beautiful singing flowed from inside the hoods, never stuttering, a command performance for a hidden audience.

I got tagged!

2005-10-24T21:19:00.000-06:00

soo...here are five of my favorite songs.

Open Up Your Eyes, by Jeremy Camp, from the Christian Narnia-inspired Album. You can read the lyrics here if you want...I might be posting them later.

Jackie Tar, an old Scottish song. It's really the tune I like, not the lyrics. The version I like sounds almost exactly like this version.

Who Am I, by Casting Crowns. I think I've got the name right--correct me if I'm wrong. The chorus starts, "I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow..."

Remembering You, by Steven Curtis Chapman, from the Christian Narnia-inspired Album. If you didn't read the lyrics when I posted them before, you can read them here.

The Gooding Carol, a song on this CD I have. It's almost impossible for me to keep from dancing to this, especially when it's Christmastime--it's just so merry and joyful!

I taaaag...
Shimmer
Obi-Wan
Anya
Zaya
Alena

Waiting for the World to Fall

2005-10-17T20:49:00.000-06:00

I'm afraid it's been too long to try to find the reasons why

I let my world close in around a smaller patch of fading sky

But now I've grown beyond the walls to where I've never been

And it's still winter in my wonderland

I'm waiting for the world to fall

I'm waiting for the scene to change

I'm waiting when the colors come

I'm waiting to let my world come undone

I close my eyes and try to see the world unbroken underneath

The farther off and already it just might make the life I lead

A little more than make-believe when all my skies are painted blue

And all the clouds don't ever change the shape of who I am to You

I'm waiting for the world to fall

I'm waiting for the scene to change

I'm waiting when the colors come

I'm waiting to let my world come undone

When I catch the light of falling stars my view is changing me

My view is changing me

My view is changing

I'm waiting for the world to fall

I'm waiting for the scene to change

I'm waiting when the colors come

I'm waiting, I'm waiting

I'm waiting for the world to fall

I'm waiting for the scene to change

I'm waiting for the world to fall

I'm waiting

~Jars of Clay

from the Christian Narnia-inspired album

Listen to a sample.

The best of ways

2005-10-11T20:22:00.000-06:00

Isn't it funny how the air has different smells depending on the season? Walking outside, I realize that I subconsciously think "fall" the minute I smell the air. The temperature is cool, a blessed change from the summer heat. The leaves under my sneakers sound like the dry pages of a book being ruffled. I wonder at the different ways the trees change color. One tree friend of mine, whom I see when I look out my window, changes color slowly and gracefully. Only a sprinkling of gold shows among the emerald in the bough outside my window. Her canopy of leaves looks slightly thinner.

Another, different maple is rather bolder in how it changes color. At first, one could see little change in the great mass of leaves stretching up to touch the sky, though the ground was already carpeted with leaves. Then the yellow began to show a little more; as I photographed the tree from directly below, I noticed pale gold layers among the deep green. Now large gaps in the bounty of leaves are visible, and blazes of orange and even red are splashed across the branches. At this point the tree is brightest and most noticeable, a rainbow of green, yellow, orange, and red, all in one huge tree.

I walk back indoors, removing my shoes by the door, and head for the kitchen, planning to snack on peanuts while reading for a little while. Afterwards I will return to my study of botany, though something tells me I've already been experiencing it in the best of ways.

some thoughts and a quote...

2005-10-04T18:42:00.000-06:00

For my last post, I posted photos and asked people to comment telling how one of the photos made them feel. I got a couple of neat descriptions from commentators, so go read them if you haven't!! Anyway I think I'll do one now, for fun.

This photo makes me feel curious and wondering and strangely excited. Who is he? is the biggest question in my mind. What is he doing here? Perhaps he's an American spy in Nazi-occupied France, collecting top secret information for his superiors, determined not to reveal his true identity. Perhaps he's an evil man waiting for another man to arrive, waiting to fight a duel, watching his adversary approach with a hint of a smile at his lips--he's sure he'll win. Perhaps he's returning to the town where his true love lives after having disappeared for ten years: she stands before him, wondering if she knows him; he removes his hat and a wave of recognition rushes over her. How does she feel...what does he say?

Doing this photo thingy makes me think of something Lois Walfrid Johnson says in the introduction to her first Viking Quest book. Here it is:

Today exciting explorations take us to the mysteries
of outer space and wonders deep in the sea. In the
days of the Vikings awesome adventures, including
their discovery of the New World, lay just beyond
the horizon. Yet whatever the time, something
remains the same--young people like you with big
dreams, the curiousity for adventure, and warm,
courageous hearts.

photos

2005-09-29T18:37:00.000-06:00

I feel like posting photos...so here's some photos I like. (They're actually screencaps from movies.)

I love playing music for Obi-Wan and asking him how it makes him feel, and then talking about how it makes me feel. We really connect when we talk about that. I love just drinking in the beauty of the music, letting my heart and soul soak in it, refreshing and revitalizing me. So, I don't know what y'all will think of this...but I want you to pick one of the the pictures above and comment saying how it makes you feel. :D If you know what movie it's from, try to mostly ignore that aspect of it, just think of the photo itself. And if you think this is a ridiculous idea, just comment saying so! :D I'm in a weird mood today...

2005-09-20T19:27:00.000-06:00

You can't have living without dying. Don't be afraid of death...Be afraid of the unlived life.

~Tuck

from the movie Tuck Everlasting

funny game, good book, tricky assignment, and awesome pictures

2005-09-18T16:04:00.000-06:00

Okay, I guess it's my turn to do this little game... :)

1.Comment me with your name and I will respond with something random about you.
2.I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3.I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4.I'll tell you my first memory of you.
5.I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6.I'll ask you something that i've always wondered about.
7.If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

This might be tricky, so be patient, and I'll try my best! :D

I recently read another book by the Christian author Lawana Blackwell. I love her romance novels; she is possibly the most conservative writer of historical romantic fiction I've encountered. The book by her I just read is called Song of a Soul. I really like the main characters, which is always nice. A young woman named Deborah is one of them, and I like reading about how she begans pursuing her dreams, since I'm approaching a rather similar stage. And the other main character, a guy, is such a gentleman. Sigh...makes me wish there were more guys like that in real life. Whenever I meet men who are gentlemen, no matter what their ages, I just feel so thankful. It's such a blessing.

Co-op's started up, and I have my first homework assignment for Drama Class. I have to impersonate some character from American history and give a monologue about them. I'm having a hard time deciding who to do... But the teacher said that maybe next time, she'd have it be characters from books. Whoohoo, then I could be Lucy or Jill or Ramandu's Daughter!!!! Or Bree from Viking Quest!!!!! The possibilities are endless.

Well, there's only 82 days until the Narnia movie comes out! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!! I have a feeling it's going to be sooooo awesome!!!!!!!! Here's links to some amazing pictures NarniaWeb has:
I know this isn't in the book, but it looks stunning anyway!!
The Great Lion
Wow...it looks like the book just came to life!
Poor Ed...

Bye folks!

Aslan

2005-09-13T19:24:00.000-06:00

Please do not redistribute without permission.
Here's a wallpaper of Aslan I made. I got the picture from NarniaWeb, which, by the way, has the best Narnia movie image gallery I've seen anywhere. Check it out!!

Courage to win

2005-09-08T19:04:00.000-06:00

Hi there folks. I'm going to attempt to write a post even though my brain is DEAD. :D Today was the first day of co-op. And CucumberQueen's not in it this year! *sob* It was so lonely without her, especially in Art, since we were in it together last year. There were a couple new girls and they were nice but they're not CQ. :(

I cannot believe this is my last year of not only highschool but of homeschooling. Next year I'll be in school for the first time in my life. And I'll be away from my home, my family, my kitty...how will I bear it? I feel a need to talk about it, I just need to get it off my chest. It keeps coming back to my mind, I keep thinking, this is my last "first day of co-op". Sometimes I feel as though a person is dying. I grieve for that person. It is the Peter Pan side of me, the part of me that never wants to grow up and shoulder responsibility. There's this sad part of Peter Pan I want to quote...

(Wendy is trying to get Peter to go back to England with her and her
brothers)
Peter: (without emotion) Would they send me to school?
(Wendy saddens a little and nods silently)
Peter: Then...to an office.
Wendy: (whispers) I suppose so.
Peter: Soon I should be a man.
(Wendy nods)
Peter: (shakes his head) You can't catch me and make me a man! (starts away)
Wendy: Peter!
Peter: (stops and faces her and speaks quietly) I want... always... to be a boy... and to have fun.
Wendy: (quietly and earnestly) You say so, but I believe it is your biggest pretend.

Peter at that part is like one side of me. I never, ever, want the Peter Pan side of me to die out completely. I only want it to take its proper place...but I don't know how to make it do that. So much is changing. I'm changing and the way I look at God is changing. I feel like I'm struggling to have a strong faith in Him...my faith feels weak right now. The Viking Quest books are such an encouragement...even though I haven't read them lately, they've been on my heart and mind recently. I feel as though Devin and Bree are alive and they're saying to me repeatedly, "Courage to win. Jesus is your Savior, Lord, and King." Courage to win...I almost want to change my blog title to that. I love those words, need those words. Courage to win...

Remembering You

2005-09-04T15:42:00.000-06:00

This is one of the songs from the album of Christian songs inspired by The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. The album will come out Sept. 27 but this song is already available as a single on walmart.com among other places. I love it, it's so beautiful and it fits so well with Narnia! It's by Steven Curtis Chapman and this is some of what he says about it:

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe leaves me with a constant reminder... that every time I experience spring or new life or a new day, that these are a picture of redemption and of restoration. I want to remember what that means and what that represents, and that this truth is not just for things in the past, but also this hope is for the future.I wrote the song “Remembering You” that is from the perspective of a lot of the characters in the book, it could be Lucy, it could be any of the children at the end of the story...

I found You in the most unlikely way

Really it was You who found me

And I found myself in the gifts that You gave

You gave me so much and I

I wish You could stay, but I'll

I'll wait for the day

And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring

and I'll be remembering You

Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing

and I'll be remembering You

I'll be remembering You

From the first moment when I heard Your name

Something in my heart came alive

You showed me love and no words could explain

A love with the power to

Open the door

to a world I was made for

And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring

and I'll be remembering You

Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing

and I'll be remembering

The dark night

The hard fight

The long climb up the hill knowing the cause

The brave death

The last breathe

The silence whispering all that was lost

The thunder

The wonder

A power that brings the dead back to life

I wish You could stay

But I'll wait for the day

I know You've gone away

But You'll come back

And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring

and I'll be remembering You

Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing

and I'll be remembering You

And I'll watch as the sun fills the sky that was dark

and I'll be remembering You

And I'll think of the way that You fill up my heart

And I'll be remembering You

I'll be remembering You

I'll be remembering You
I'll be remembering You

Thanks to NarniaFans for the lyrics and quote! Read more, listen to a sample, and watch an interview here. :)

The Tucks

2005-08-29T19:51:00.000-06:00

This is a wallpaper I made using screencaptures I took of the movie Tuck Everlasting. The movie's a beautiful story about a girl named Winnie and how she meets the strange Tuck family and finds out why they're different from other people. Take a look at its page on my site to find out more about it, it's a really good movie!!

Please do not redistribute without permission.
In the color part of the wallpaper, their names are, from left to right: Jesse Tuck, the younger of the two sons; Miles Tuck, the older of the two sons; Mae Tuck, their mother; and Angus Tuck, their father.

Whew! I feel good about finishing that wallpaper. It took awhile to make. Now that the school year's starting soon, I probably won't be able to spend as much time on wallpapers. Or blog as much either. So if I disappear for awhile, it might be because I'm busy with schoolwork. :(

I'm listening to the Veggie Rocks version of "I Love My Lips" right now...I love it, it's hilarious!! :D I've got to post the lyrics sometime...

Cucumber Falls and the Youghiogheny

2005-08-24T18:37:00.000-06:00

Whenever my family visits Ohiopyle State Park, it's tradition to go to a little waterfall called Cucumber Falls and climb on the rocks and boulders that the creek winds through.

The trail to the right of the sign
leads down the hillside to the
creek that flows over Cucumber
Falls.

A bridge over the creek above
the falls.

The top of the falls. Pippin and
Obi-Wan actually somehow got
up onto that ledge!!

The creek winds through these
boulders.

I know this is a bad picture, but I wanted
you to see what Cucumber Falls looks
like. Pippin climbed up onto a ledge
behind the falls one time.

The rocks in the sunshine look
like a still-life compostion to
me. Isn't it neat how the light
reflecting off the water makes a
faint pattern on the underside of
the rock?

This is the mouth of the creek,
where it joins with Youghiogheny
[yaw-ki-gay-nee] River.

Wildflowers growing by the side
of Youghiogheny River.

Youghiogheny Falls. Nothing
compared to Niagara I know, but
still pretty, IMHO. :)

Nemicolon

2005-08-23T17:20:00.000-06:00

These are the woods at a resort near Summit Inn called Nemicolon. We sometimes eat at one of their restaurants even though we don't stay there. It's a great place for simply going on a walk, too.

These are some statues at Nemicolon. Aren't they adorable? I love them! It's so fun to sit down between the two girl statues and pretend to be one of them, caught up in a perpetual state of childhood and innocence.

This is a tiny chapel at Nemicolon. It has only four pews inside, two rows with two each. It may be small but it's a truly beautiful, peaceful little place. Below is one of its stained-glass windows.

Toodle-oo!

Summit Inn

2005-08-21T11:01:00.000-06:00

This past week, my family went on a short vacation to Summit Inn. It's a big, old inn sitting right on the top of a mountain. I love staying there, it's so cozy and homey.

The first day we got there it was VERY foggy, as you can see from the picture above. I was standing in front of the inn looking down towards the road when I took this picture.

This is in the lobby of the inn. Beautiful eh?

I took this picture one morning on the veranda. Isn't the fog awesome?

A gorgeous sunset from the veranda.

My good friend Uncle Beazley in our room. Don't ask why I named him that, I read the name in the book The Enormous Egg and it just stuck. I've had him for years and I love him.

There are other pictures I want to post...I may post them tomorrow. Ta-ta!